sic6sense

existing!

2010-02-27T05:59:00.003+08:00

I guess blogspot doesnt have a time limit on inactive blogs.

I guess I dont really have much to say except perhaps one thing; I could write freely if I didnt have a blog.

While the dead is still living

2009-01-05T16:29:00.006+08:00

Just read Paul Krugman's piece on the economy, stupid. Friedman vs Keynesian, Monetary vs Fiscal. I thought we had moved away from high school economics when the world was flat but apparently old solutions are still required to solve new world problems.

Having lived through 3 recessions (didnt count the oil crisis in the early 1970s as my life was pretty insulated then) , I understand that the human spirit is fragile, the human mind is forgetful but our capacity to adjust is boundless.

I therefore declare 2009 the year to adjust boundlessly by freeloading and free porn-ing. (not all freebies are worth it)

I shouldnt have drank a gallon of green tea

2008-12-31T01:22:00.003+08:00

Just to make sure blogger doesnt erase this blog for inactivity, a yearend post.

"ekkngllsdkf3902402484jfnf vsfgfksfbvrjfsss
jdsfdks
&^%^#**HHBCBBVC
ekkdldldddddddddddddddddddddddddd
12393747836542173421738473
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg"

I still can't write but here are my wishes for the new year.

A king's booty and a peasant's body for me. As for the rest of you, lets make gutterUncensored.com the number 1 most popular website in the world by sending in naked pics of your unsuspecting partners.

Apathy

2008-01-12T04:05:00.001+08:00

Boomtown Rats' "I dont like Mondays" tonight is pretty upbeat. Much like those old Italian and Spanish songs of plenty verve with morose lyrics. The ones we sing-a-long to

~ 'My father is so pooRrr'
' He couldnt afford to buy a razor'
'to slash his wRist'

I must be Malaysian.

Sicko United 2008

2008-01-05T08:44:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since the original list. With less money to spend (last team got relegated), I'm buying local with the exception of one. He's pretty cheap anyway.

Sicko United 2008

Goalkeeper. Khairy Jamaluddin. Nothing gets past him.

Rightback. Alex Yoong (again) in A1 GP. After 2 seasons of relative success, he rediscovered his form (at right behind the others).

Centreback 1 and 2. Andrea Fonseka. A pair of perky ones.

Leftback. Hans Isaac. His partner got hitched.

Righthalf. K Fed. The court judged him to be the better parent.

Defensive midfielder. Samy Vellu. He covers his line well and is never at fault.

Playmaker. Pak Lah. Spreads (big cabinet) and passes out (zzzz) the play conveniently.

Left winger. Anwar Ibrahim. He's still working the channels with his mazy runs.

Nippy striker. Raja Petra Kamaruddin. He loves to shoot but rarely scores.

Big striker. Datuk K. He certainly scored big time.

Manager. Son of Bhutto. He's already plotting for the future.

Alive and Kicking

2007-12-23T14:06:00.000+08:00

~Its Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid ~

All that drinking made me sick the last few days. Feel a lot better today although I had hoped to wake up on the 26th.

I hate shopping malls. This is going to be tricky.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

2007-12-19T02:06:00.000+08:00

This is the 151 post. (is there a plural in post?)

Its funny how you meet old friends and everyone claims to know the other better. Last night, 2 old schoolmates, a doctor and one whose family owns the probably one of the oldest bakery in town, and an old college mate who's well established in advertising met up for drinks. (ok, I think she is because she's leftfield and knows some of my deepest darkest secrets). She hides our friendship well.

Its funnier how everytime you meet old buddies, old stories are regurgitated and told with renewed fervour like it never happened. The doctor reminded me again how blasted I was at his 16th birthday. Today, I learned that I told him mum to f**K off when she tried lying me down. Apparently, she still recalls the incident rather fondly. The baker boy swore by the tale while smirking rather lasciviously at the thought. You cant choose old friends.

The ad girl, WSP, is pro oppostion because she's anti government. I argued that you can be anti opposition and anti goverment as well. Its not about equations but your philosophy. She rightly pointed out I've never stood for anything. I wish she stops calling me.

The mystery of missing white shirt is solved. The auntie claims she doesnt have it and I certainly havent misplaced it in my tiny square feet of space. Its no longer a mystery, its missing.

Then again, I've never been bothered much about clothes.

Still Looking for the Disco

2007-12-18T17:07:00.000+08:00

*dusting off cobwebs* ( I wish. haha. Any volunteers?)

This is pretty exciting. Writing for noone but yourself but on a chance that someone might chance upon this by accident or design. Noticed that chanced was twiced the previous sentence. I wonder if you can actually design a chance.

Its been an interesting 6 months or so since the last post. Much ado about nothing really. Except that my living conditions have deteriorated to the extent that I've 3 less functioning lights at home. The effort to get 3 lightbulbs exceeds the total sum of the monetary expenditure. I'm all for saving energy. Mine included.

Plumbing around the place seems to have taken a life of its own as well. I get soaked just by turning on the taps. Everytime I take a dump, I need to refill the WC after flushing because the water accumulation is so slow. Surely, there must be a way to divert the spitting taps to the WC.

Then, there's the laundrette. Despite my pleading, my clothes continue to shrink after every wash. Bloody hell, if its not for my sedentary lifestyle and hangovers from binge drinking, I would have gone over and instructed the auntie not to put the clothes in the dryer. I told my driver to tell her but it got lost in translation and now I'm investigating a missing white shirt although its difficult to do so from lying on the sofa and watching Asian Food Channel the whole day. That was a long sentence and surely missing a few commas.

I went to the office earlier because I felt guilty. About time I do something about it. My options include getting a sofa and Astro in the room and blackout curtains (whatever its called) or redesignate myself as "advisor". I'm more inclined to the latter due to the 'spiritual not physical' attachment to that position.

My neighbours are looking in again. I can't help it. I always blog naked.

Somebody help

2007-06-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

Apparently, I'm the only one having problems with blogspot. Havent been able to view updates on this and others. Perhaps its time to move to wordpress.

Guess there wont be any updates until this is sorted. (its a pain writing this on the blackberry).

Mindful

2007-06-06T01:41:00.000+08:00

Dont you think people who dedicate themselves to a cause or a movement need it more for themselves?

There's nothing wrong with that. Most social causes are good.

Why do you eye them with suspicion then?

Admit it. You think they are either gay, sanctimonious or trying to make a quick buck off you.

--------------------------

What's your best age?

Difficult one but I thought 23 was pretty good. I had low expectations.

I've asked the question many times (always at the bar). I dont recall anyone saying "current" or "future" age.

After too many drinks, one would have seen better days.

Life's Perspective

2007-05-31T20:26:00.000+08:00

I thought I would return in better times. A death, an arrest and a loss prompted this post.

------------------------
My Dear Friend and Colleague,

I''m sorry for not allowing you to quit on several occasions. I didnt expect you to leave like this.

sicko
------------------------
My Old Buddy,

The nightmare has begun. It doesnt stop but you'll learn a new way of living.

sicko
-----------------------
My Friend and Associate,

You lost your family home through a bad business call. I'm still trying to help. The both of us.

sicko

It sucks to know me. My karma is always better than yours.

Sonic Speed

2007-04-13T02:48:00.000+08:00

You have never left me in spite. You blur the lines between whats pleasing and whats disturbing. You challenge my ability to listen and enjoy. Sometimes I wish you just GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!!

Damn noises.

A Close Call

2007-04-10T03:01:00.000+08:00

I like cool summer days and warm winter nights. We wont be appropriately dressed.

On a train across Germany one mild autumn's day, a cellist with the Berlin Philharmonic attempted to engage me in some intellectual discourse about the passage of time. The only noteworthy pitch he made was love is not something you can recapture because the melange of emotions at that moment has passed. I didnt expect him to know better. He has only loved one.

Love does manifest itself in different forms through different people at different times. I wasnt about to argue, we still had 3 hours to go.

I had intended to write about my love for my country and the sacrifices that I would make but thankfully this post distracted me. For fear of feminist militants attacking me, I refrained from making any comments and decided that its better to shit in my own blog.

Acquiring knowledge and having a social conscience are all fine and dandy but it wont get you laid. You need good grooming even if you look like a chihuahua.

This sucks. I dont know what I'm saying or doing anymore. I cant be sitting here without my clothes with a shot of whisky thinking it would make me blog. Time I stop blogging.

"

" (creating drama by quitting blogging briefly)

I'm back!!

Unfit

2007-03-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

I'm not one for the brilliance of a sunrise or the introspective sunset. There's nothing quite like the transition into nightfall. Or the moment after dusk.

I'll sit in darkness. Waiting.

-------------------------------------------------------

A flustered labia wrote to me.

Sharifah Labia said...

Look at me, I'm Lily O,
lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed, I can't,
I'm Lily O,

Watch it, hey, I'm Siti Nurhaliza I was not brought up that
way
Won't come across,
even Datuk K lost his heart to Siti Nurhaliza

I don't drink or swear, I won't rat my hair,
I get ill from one cigarette
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers.
Would you pull that crap with Mother Theresa?

As for you, Sicko, I know what you wanna do
You got your cheezy crust, I'm no object of lust,
I'm just plain Lily O,

Elvis, Elvis, let me be, keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool,
now you're starting to drool
Hey, dungu, I'm Lily O.

2:40 PM, March 28, 2007

Dear Sharifah Labia,

I'm Sicko, dont look at me,
you already know.
I dont need a bed
to screw your brains dead.

I'm Sicko without the standalone Zero.
No wonder
you cant get a score Lily O.

The Sicko aint no saint.
Even he wont do the dirty
on mother theresa of calcutta.
God bless her soul.

keep your knickers on, Lily O.
Its pouring.
tom's tumb may be handy,
for one uptight.

You're right Lily O,
I dont fit in.

Sicko

Grease Lightning

2007-03-27T01:09:00.000+08:00

The extent of human greed is truly bewildering.

For some reason or another, I've been inundated with matters concerning the environment. I'm going to do my part in making the world a better place. A place where our children can run naked without fear of drowning, overheating and Datuk Ks.

Ask Siti. Its not easy washing off grease.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Since there are no distressed readers this week, I'm going to write a short letter to the PM because he might be.

Dear PM,

No sir, I'm not addressing the afternoon. I'm referring to the afterthought.

You were not the first, second nor the third choice. Its worse. You're becoming Sophie's Choice.

Please prove us wrong.

Sicko.

*A "Sophie's Choice" is a tragic choice between two unbearable options.

Green Not Envy

2007-03-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

This has to be written with some conviction. I may the wrong person to propagate this but dont let the flippant design of this post undermine the gravity of the message. Shoot the messenger, if need be.

These mutually exclusive events took place last week.

1. An Irish friend showed a business model integrating environmental concerns with a social network. The business of the future.
2. Gore's Inconvenient Truth enlightened. It wasnt just learning about how fragile our earth is, but it made me realized that the right President won. Gore wouldnt have been an effective environmentalist if he was ruling the world.
3. Nostradamus had the audacity to invade my sub-conscience. Next time I fall asleep on the sofa, I'll make sure the cartoon network is on instead.

Since the world is ending soon, go watch Gore's movie for your own sake. I'll continue blogging naked for yours and the environment's sake.

a brainwave: we should have a Blogging Naked and Dont Shower Week supporting the Kyoto Declaration. I promise a farting good time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok to a more serious matter. A troubled reader.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sicko,

I am in my 30s and I have been been busting balls for many years. I dont think I can do this for long. I am tired of the effort I put in, time allocated to it and shit I have to take so that I can maintain my existing lifestyle. This lifestyle is not anywhere near great to warrant me to maintain it. I would like to be rich and bored like you. Please advice.

~John~

Dear John,

Thank you for having the balls to write in. Busted it may be.

I know of a friend who gave up her career and lifestyle for her own sanity (thats open to debate). Fortunately, she has the talent and the gumption to cultivate her interest into a rewarding one financially.

No, she's not a cyclist.

Then there's me. I've no talent and have a distaste for the daily grind. I wish I had more money and fit into a size 32 pants.

Fortunately, I dont really care to be like anyone else. Maybe thats the difference between you and me.

Sicko

This is not Dear John

2007-03-15T02:25:00.000+08:00

Its terribly unsettling when you get it wrong 90% of the time. I've 2 locks securing my main door and it always take 4 turns to get it right. The yin of my yang is imbalanced.

There's this other thing. Someone thinks I've a good thing with the Dear Sicko letters. The last person who did a Dear John blog didnt last too long. It wasnt wise of him seeking his own counsel for the same demons admonished.

Pugly tagged me. I dont normally do tags but since she has good traffic, its wise to do so. Some weird stuff about me.

1. I blog naked,
2. sometimes single handedly but
3. always fidgeting
4. because I need to get my alignment right.
5. If I touch left, I need to touch right.
6. I cant be touching you too.

-------------------------------------------------

This inquiry should be dealt with as it concerns me.

Sharifah Lili Labia al Konek said...

abang sicko,

adik di fahamkan di kelas mengaji masa adik kecil dan comel dan masih dara dulu, bahawa konek yang halal adalah konek yang telah disunat, iaitu yang tidak dipakaikan jaket kulit lagi.adakah ini bermakna, kalau adik bermain dengan jejaka yang telah disunat, ini tidak dimasukkan kategori berzina?

Mahukah abang sicko berzina dengan adik?

Sharifah Lili Labia al Konek,

Pertama sekali, abang minta izin berbalas dalam bahasa kebangsaan, iaitu bangsa English. Of course.

I anticipate your reply but time awaits no man. Even if the only man you know is your Pak Haji who kindly exhibited his halalness to you.

You confuse me and therefore I'm confused about wearing a jacket. Nevertheless, if you read about the Emperor's New Clothes, you might just understand. Let me quote.

"obvious truth denied by the majority despite the evidence of their eyes, especially when proclaimed by the government." Smell the cheese (roses).

This blog wont self destruct like Dear John. I cant be your counsel and your demon. Sorry, no zina.

Sicko.

I think I'll swim tomorrow

2007-03-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

I've finally dipped under 25 minutes for a 5km run. My knees are wobbly but unfortunatley, my stomach still is. A change of routine might help.

My first post in BM. (okay, parts of it). The letters of the week:

-------------------------------------------

adik comel yang tidak begitu bijak berkata-kata said...

abang sickobuat masa ini, saya begitu kepingin menikmati sebatang lollipop. pada masa yang sama juga, saya ingin memiliki sebuah kereta mini cooper. bolehkah abang sicko yang bijak pandai, lagi kekar dan perkasa, membantu saya?

Adik comel yang tidak begitu bijak,

Walaubagaimanapun bahasa melayu sicko koyak mengoyak, sicko tak bias.

Lollipop yang dinikmati itu harap rasa anggur kerana boleh jadi pandai seperti Kojak. Walaupun rambut dia gugur, dia masih cukup seksi. Kebijaksanaannya boleh dikesan dari kepala yang begitu besar dan berkilat. Omputeh cakap, "He's bright".

adik comel, sicko kurang percaya adik tak begitu bijak. Adik pandai 'multitasking', ingin menjilat lollipop sambil bermimpi memiliki kereta yang termasyhur dunia, Mini Cooper. Adik cukup ambitious nampak. Untunglah negara kami dapat warganegara yang berkhayalan Global.

Oleh kerana sicko pandai, etc etc, nasihat yang disampaikan harap adik tolong memberi pemerhatian.

"Bermimpi itu bagus kalau adik tak berbangun."
"Sicko juga ingin bermain dengan Anggun,"
"Tapi takut pergi Indo kerana banyak gempar bumi."
"Adik akan bangun bila Putera menciumi."

Realiti ada juga nikmatnya.

Sekian.

Sicko

----------------------------------------

Keropok said...

Dear Sicko,My, err... friend says his kulit-empat (four-skin) is so long, each time his awek goes down on him, he entire head gets in. ANy advice for err... him?

Dear Keropok

Dont fret, my friend. (your friend?ours?Whatever)

I think its pretty cool that his entire head gets into her mouth when she goes down on him. Kulit-empat long ada khasiatnya. Good for cheese accumulation. I hope she's likes it pungent.

Sicko

Answers to Your Prayers

2007-02-28T11:18:00.000+08:00

Letter of the Week*

*Labia Oblongata said...

Dear Sicko,
I am worried about how my labia (majora) looks.I've watched (and compared) mine to countless pornstars' and several friends' (via both visual comparison and verbal description).Why doesn't mine wave hello?K.S Labia.
3:05 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear K.S. Labia
You’re indeed a Kia Su Labia. Please do away with this Singapore mentality of keeping up with the Lees.
What you have is not a major-a problem but a teeth-ing one. Get someone, preferably someone with a bite, to grab and pull it into the throat. Do it repeatedly until the swelling becomes desensitized. You will have a flapping insensitive unsanitary labia that’s porn ready.

Sicko

------------------------

luiza mendez said...

dear sicko,
where can i get vibrating, tingling condoms that could make me cum like a pig? if u don't already know, a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.thank u.
3:25 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear Luiza Mendez,
Why have one when you can have multiple orgasms?

Sicko

-----------------------------

Anonymous said...

dear sicko,
tell me how to squirt.my bf n i have been trying,but it seems dat i just cant (squirt).pls help.siti nurhafiza
4:02 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear Siti Nurhafiza,
I assume you’re trying to get pregnant. Please get your boyfriend to squirt while you grimace with pleasure.

Sicko

------------------------

macam aku termakan cililah pulak said...

Dear Sicko,
I secretly covet my bestfriend's man. I have hot, passionate fantasies of him lapping me up like I am made of sugar. Each time we go out in a group I have to control myself because just the sight of him makes me want to undress. Please help me. I don't want to scare the other patrons in the establishments we frequent.
5:19 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear Macam Macam,
Unless you look like Jabba the Hut, the establishments would pay good money for your loss of control. You’ll also gain many new bestfriends.

Sicko

I Suck

2007-02-27T01:09:00.000+08:00

This is becoming too complicated. I could write about fellatio 101, food for the soul and football for the dim witted. This blog could instantly tranform into an educational, passionate and popular blog. A thought and then some.

Is tomato a fruit or vegetable?
According to Jeff "The Man Who Ate Everything" Steingarten, tomato is the fruit of a tomato plant.

I wouldnt insult you like that. I would tell you to juice it up, add some vodka, peppers and worschester sauce. Serve it in shots with raw oysters. After a dozen or so shots,

oh fuck, I havent paid my Astro bill. I cant write now!.

the question is now a philosophical debate. Which you cant win because I will quash your fruity tomatoes before you can spell V-E-G-E.

I recommend the bloody mary shots with oysters at the Magnificent Fish and Chips Shop. Ask Paul to do it.

You would have noticed I've cunningly inserted some ads. The concerned parties please take notice.

Ahem. Question.

If I turn this into a Dear John or Abby (who the fishes are they?) would you tell me your problems?

Dear Sicko,

I've been having mind blowing sex with my subordinate in my boss's room. We're both married. Help.

Dead Man Walking

Dear Dead Man Walking,

I see many triangles. I dont see a problem if your boss is married, your subordinate is not and you are. Its not a problem either if your boss is married, your subordinate is and you are not. However, if your boss is not and that leaves both of you married, it depends if you're married to each other.

Assuming that you're married to each other, I dont counsel for healthy marriages.

Sicko

Bloody hell. I've just finish the last bits of Bowmore. A typical Islay whisky with heavy peat. Inferior to Ardbeg and Laphroaig though.

What I really aspire to be is the local version of Post Secret. You know you can trust me with your secrets. Help me make it.

Infallibility

2007-02-15T13:28:00.000+08:00

There is a common literary theme throughout history - a main character has his or her long held perception of reality and truth torn asunder, when a key moment or critical event reveals the falsehood of the previously held truth.

Truth should perhaps be defined as integrity and not a statement of fact. The world was once flat and doesnt mean it is round as we know today.

This blog is tempered that the melange of emotions inflicted on the writer is unknown to the public. So be it. On the internet, noone knows that you're a dog.

Happy Chinese New Year!

As Naked As It Gets

2007-02-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

Due to the absence of readable material, I've resorted to porn on the internet recently. Needless to say, I'm totally disgusted.

I cant be bloody paying to watch New Paris Hilton Stolen Videos with my credit card. Or sneaking a peek at Hillary's boobs. What would my banker think?

"Good Evening, Mr Sicko. This is Aisyah from @#$% b..."
"The cheque is already in the banklah."
"Thanks you for the payment but this call is to confirm that an online transaction has been made using your card.'
".................."
"Mr Sicko, did you recently acquire som....."
"Yeslah! Yeslah!" *growls*
"Thank you for your confirmation. We'll be continue to monitor your transactions online and have earmarked those sites for our future references."
*growwwwllinnnnngggggg*
*Clicks*

*Clicks*

Looks like the alleged Britney Spears K-fed tapes may have finally leaked out. They should invest their millions in a better camera! Funny how a video surfaces a day after their divorce. Looks like Kevin is out for revenge! Its not conclusive but damn, if thats Britney she can really wax a pole! This is the sex scandal we've been waiting for. CLICK FOR MORE »

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Must be the effing weather or something but I cant seem to find my stride coming into 2007.

A Thought for the 7th day

2007-02-06T12:39:00.000+08:00

An interesting article from a technology site .http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/atheism_pr.html

"MY FRIENDS, I MUST ASK YOU AN IMPORTANT QUESTION TODAY: Where do you stand on God?
It's a question you may prefer not to be asked. But I'm afraid I have no choice. We find ourselves, this very autumn, three and a half centuries after the intellectual martyrdom of Galileo, caught up in a struggle of ultimate importance, when each one of us must make a commitment. It is time to declare our position."

New Atheists condemn the belief in God and declare all religion as evil.

I believe that religion does not require proof of God's existence. I'm just acting on faith.

I asked myself why I blog and I came up with this

2007-02-06T01:52:00.000+08:00

do you realize that it doesnt take much to hurt but it takes a lot to love?

think about it.

You're wrong.

you cant possibly hurt if you havent loved.

fine.

that's not too clever you say.

you wouldnt know.

i dont love you.

finally the mail, i've been waiting for.

gain 3 inches in length.

so if i apply it to my head

will i grow taller?

i might apply some to my bank account.

today i saw something funny.

no, i wasnt naked.

Bad Hair Day!

2007-02-03T00:11:00.000+08:00

I had trouble disciplining my hair this morning.
It took a slab of hair cream to keep the unkempt bits in check.
The slick mop of hair was environmentally hazardous
that I chose to walk in shaded areas and dark alleyways.

I visited the toilet to wash off the oil.
The only thing I got cleaned,
was my shirt which was truly drenched.
"You should have towelled it off, Einstein!"

Someone commented that my face looked bigger.
As always, I said its a bad hair day.
Honestly, my weight correlates with the fickleness of my hair.
Please see me next week, I would have lenghtened by then.

Comeon its a Bad Hair Day! What do you expect?

The Devil's Back, Sicko

2007-01-29T16:03:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure who's more deluded; the buyer or the seller. Everytime I sit naked reading random posts about faceless persons getting good deals from buying vintage wine or dresses, my pubes get twisted in knots. Then they curl up and fall off.

There is this ongoing debate about the definition of Vintage. Dont bother checking dicktionary.com or waikikipedia because its non conclusive as we speak. But it wouldnt be wrong to assume that (in the case of wine) vintage would mean exceptional quality and exceptionally high price because of limited production or stock. A 1958 Burgundy may be a very good year but a 1962 is vintage. Carpfish?

I remember the time I had the Macallan 25 year old. The nose was deep, rich and sweet. And beneath the oily characteristic, cocoa and a rich maltiness were discovered. The taste was lusciously silky with an initial sweetness of sherry giving way to a crescendo of cocoa (notes from the bottle,what do I know). The long and dry finish rested satisfyingly on my palate.

After finishing that bottle, we settled for the token Black Label. I couldnt tell the difference. Even the jokes were recycled albeit packaged differently.

Thats why I need my clothes back. This naked routine is getting old.

The Devil's going, Sicko!

2007-01-18T12:34:00.000+08:00

Late last night, I had a shower. Naturally, I was stark naked but I wasnt cold. A few shots of the Glenmorangie Sherry Casked single malt left my palate smoky sweet with a crushed toffee and sweet-malted cereal character. The 46% alcohol content kept me warm and my pores dry.

I got off the shower the next day. It was just past midnight but I was excited about today. The plane leaves in a few hours and I figured that I've enough clean underwear.

Not that it really matters.

The Devil's Here, Sicko

2007-01-17T09:52:00.000+08:00

I started this post last night. Naked with a glass of chardonnay. The fruity characteristic of the white perked me up to the extent I was doing 3 things at once. Listening to Chinese Opera while watching the World Darts Matchplay (thanks Yati. :p) made this post incoherent. No conversations were heard this time though.

I bought the Shanghainese styled 30's cd last night because it reminded me of the old Parisian Cafe music. The scratchy recording with the delicate female voice complemented my skittishness. At RM19.90, it works better than valium.

People are surprised looking at my languid movements that I was once an active sportsman. In fact, my ambition was to become a sportsman of note. That didnt work out, not for the lack of talent, but for the indiscipline which defines my vocation till today. I lose interest as quickly as I acquire the skills to excel. My sporting CV is varied and it shows that I underachieved.

Squash-State Level (local and overseas)
Tennis-District Level (overseas)
Chess-State Level
Volleyball-School Captain
Football-Right midfielder for School
Hockey-Left half District
Table Tennis-School No.2
Cricket- Captain at District Level (overseas)
Athletics- Fastest 100 and 200 meters Under 12 District Level
Badminton-School
Snooker-Highest break 75
Golf-Lowest handicap 6, currently 8

And lousy karaoke singer (tone deaf, monotonous voice). God is fair.

I'm now dressed for work and its nearly 11 am. I wonder how much longer before I lose total interest in my job.

The Devil's where, Sicko?

2007-01-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

Its of those nights where conversations got better as the mellowing characteristic of a strong Shiraz took over. The room was getting warmer and the air was dense with smoke. The TV was loud but you can hardly hear a thing.

I love nights like this. I can do anything stark naked without anyone raising an eyebrow.

A Roman Orgy

2007-01-09T21:25:00.000+08:00

You can have too much of a good thing. Many years ago, a stunning night of debauchery and gluttony left me pining for a cold bowl of cereal. We feasted on caviar, Beluga and Osetra from the Caspian Sea, washed down by an obscene amount of very expensive frigid vodka from the stock of Tsar Nicolas. Vintage Burgundies and fine whiskies were wasted and unappreciated. Noone had sex and no eggs were fertilized though.

There's nothing exotic about eating fish eggs. A hot serving of chicken curry and fried fish roe at the local mamak shop is staple to many and we enjoy the roe of sea urchin, salmon, crab and the flying fish. Centuries ago, the Egyptians salted and pickled roe for sustenance and not as a delicacy. Today, caviar is available from sturgeon farms in China to Canada.

I love caviar, the way the eggs pop softly and opulently release their oils and juices. When the invitation came for the party, I couldnt refuse, knowing it would be in abundance. This friend has a penchant for throwing parties to impress. He equates good taste to high price. For a party of approximately 15 people, he would have spend in excess of USD 40,000.

I left in a hurry when the ugliness of decadence confronted me. My puke, splattered across his shirt, was worth more than what I had in my wallet.

Something's Rotten in the Corridors of Putrajaya

2007-01-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

The silence is deafening too.

I cant quite place it but there's this sudden urge to register myself as a voter to make a DIFFERENCE.

That will pass.

Afterall, I'm a fat cat, non marginalized non Bumi, who makes a living from the system. Why rock the boat?

I can survive for the lifetime I remain. Screw the future generations. Its their problem. I've mine.

Funny though, how the bouyancy of the stock market has little correlation with real life and real feelings. Just 10 years ago, our happiness indicator was the KLCI. Apparently, institution money controls over 70% of the market as compared to when small punters contributed up to 90% of market transactions in the mid 90s.

And I always thought an institution is a congregation of many small time time investors. Silly me.

The other thing I dont get is, important people fighting over pennies. May toll hikes continue afterall we can afford it. Our official inflation indicator is low compared to others. Our purchasing power is theoretically greater than our neighbours.

Just the other day, I made a booking for a car. I tell you its really affordable. The salesman was telling me not to blink, not to stop and think. 9 year finance is available for up to 90% of the value. He went on to mention that if you default, its OK. It becomes the finance company's problem.

Its easier buying a car than a house. We're so lucky that we can afford many cars as compared to our poor neighbours. I mean, How to Drive a House around?

I also consider myself lucky as my parents had the ability to get into debt to send me abroad for education. Lucky because the debt is their problem. Imagine if I studied locally, my dad would have all the excess money and start screwing around.

Hmmm, he did anyway.

But because I'm smarter now, I also realized its acceptable for men to do so in this blessed country of ours. If you dont, you're either gay or a cyclist.

Getting back to the point of this post. "Whats's Happening, Mr. PM?".

Should I stay or should I go?

Own Self Syiok

2007-01-03T13:19:00.000+08:00

The New Year literally intoxicates you into a state of cocksureness. Sure, the cock and bull will disintegrate into carcasses within the next 2 weeks but it doesnt hurt to ejaculate a little.

Since this is the Visit Malaysia Year, the smart thing to do is to travel abroad and avoid hordes of 3rd class Arabs, agricultural Chinese and retiring Europeans seeking dental treatment. My get out of jail list includes:

1. Liverpool vs Barcelona at Anfield.
2. The Angkor Wat in Siem Reap.
3. Trans Siberian from Beijing to Moscow and the last leg down to Prague.
4. Marrakesh and the Atlas Mountains.
5. The Basque region and the Rioja vineyards.
6. Tented camp in the Golden Triangle.
7. Hanoi and Hoi An.

Sometimes I forget I have a job and bills to pay. In event, the bills keep mounting and the brain washing from the Visit Malaysia campaign succeeds, the carcass may well look like this:

1. Selangor vs Perlis at Shah Alam.
2. The ruins of Bok House in Jalan Ampang.
3. The Gemas Express Train ride.
4. Grass skiing in Genting Highlands.
5. Sipping tea in cool Cameron Highlands.
6. The clear waters of Port Dickson.
7. Disco dancing in Kota Bahru.

* got to go. reality no 1 just called. I'm late on my mortgage payment.

yes YOU!

2006-12-28T15:00:00.000+08:00

Hi there,

Trust you had a wonderful 2006 notwithstanding the fact that I dont know you. I hope 2007 will bring more of the same notwithstanding the fact that I dont really care.

I know you wish the same for me notwithstanding the fact that you do occasionally talk dirty to me. Notwithstanding the fact that I actually enjoy it. Notwithstanding the fact that you may not mean it.

Some resolutions should be made of course notwithstanding the fact that I've never made any before. My resolution must then be to make one. See I've already made one.

Take care, drive safely and see you in the New Year.

Regards

sic6sense

A Flock of Seagulls

2006-12-20T21:34:00.000+08:00

Contrary to popular belief, I've not been building homes and feeding leper children from the slums of Calcutta. Yearend contemplations dampen my magnanimity although its the Season of Giving. A thought for the people of Kelantan, was spared though. Same sex disco dancing is so passe.

Back when A Flock of Seagulls was a singing orgy, I threw a party for boys. It was a Newton like discovery.

What do you expect when the parents had to leave for 2 days and you have one day to organize the party to end all parties and the girls on your list usually need like a week to convince their parents its safe to come over to my place since I wear my sister's clothes because it was New Romantic to do so.

5 guys turned up.

After an hour of square dancing, we thought it wised to merge with another party in the neighbourhood since silhouettes of girls were spotted. It was a merger of almost equals. 12 guys and 2 girls ended up square dancing.

Moral of the story. Make sure your mum and baby sister are away if you dont want the party to end at 10.30.

On Sports and Government

2006-12-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

Something I wrote a year back seemed relevant with Dubai International Capital buying into Liverpool. News Link here. Warning: Boring.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Sports and Government

Woke up this morning with significant chunks of my memory taking an extended nap. Or maybe, I’m just clueless about the paradoxes enveloping sports and government. They say America is a beacon of freedom but yet they insist on parity in sports. Salary caps, first picks and spread of revenue all seem to be the antithesis of the freedom of corporation. On the other hand, in Europe, the birthplace of Marxism and Fascism, the exact opposite prevails. The business of sports, notably football, is cut throat with the weak fending for themselves and the strong helping themselves to choice pickings. Inevitably, the few that survive will also find the pot of gold shrinking.

The aura of an invincible team can only be created by the existence of weaker ones. Hence, the need for West Broms, Norwich and Palaces of this world. Sustain them, for they do serve a purpose.

On the balance, America has got it right. Sports is for the community and that community doesn’t exclude the weak and impoverished. Football in Europe needs to return to the communities and the current solution is on the verge of a meltdown financially and structurally, with the G14 looming as a dark and dangerous force to the little guys. LFC sits on the G14 (Chelsea doesn’t), but this does not guarantee their existence unless they continue to perform.

LFC is at a crossroad. They’re spending like a team who’s consistently in CL and yet, they’re not. Figures don’t lie and ultimately, it has to be balanced. Or perhaps, we should just curtail our ambition to ensure survival and accept fate as a 2nd tier team scrapping for the occasional Euro excursion. Better still, if we can get Moores and Parry out and bring in new money. Unfortunately, unless you've got money to launder from dubious privatizations of Russian assets notably oil, this cycle of investment is unsustainable as football clubs generally do not generate the prerequisite sort of returns that excites serious money.

An old adage applies to football, "To make small fortune, you must start off with a big one". Is there a way out? Of course. When the bubble burst.

It must've been something I SNORT

2006-11-30T01:33:00.000+08:00

I'm an Inverted Snob (IS).

Thankfully, this abnormality is confined to a perverse cynicism rather than a physical attribute. Like any inverted living body implement, a provoked inverted converts. There must be another comma somewhere. I'm just being an anal IS.

I've great appetite for food blogs. I chew and spit at their rather folksy assessment of canteen food which they pass off as some epicurean adventure. If a gweilo dishes out pak choy pasta, the raving approvals would make you think they discovered that their parents had physical fusion and didnt buy them from Tesco. Naturally, the gweilo is bestowed the title,"World Class Pasta Chef". He's probably still laughing while milking his cow in Parma.

Travel blogs are good to go too. I like the way these provincial bloggers take us through a journey of opening our eyes and expanding our minds. How else would I know that LA is a 'fantastic' city and culture is a huge shopping mall?

Since my life doesnt exclusively revolve around blogs, I'm also an IS at work, play, home, pub, airplane, car, people.

You wouldnt understand.

SIC In Motion

2006-11-28T02:43:00.000+08:00

Just when I needed a release by posting, I've run out of batteries. So I'll do a quick one.

yes? No? YES! OH YEAH!!! YESSSSS!!!

that felt good. I'll remember to bring the power cord home tomorrow. I'm back.

The Post You Should Never Do

2006-11-08T13:19:00.000+08:00

Is there an optimum structure to a post?

Should it be this SIZE?

o
r

s
h
o
u
l
d

i
t

b
e

a

s
t
r
e
t
c
h
?

A picture could tell a story.

Sometimes words are preferred.

"It wasnt a nightmare, the Twin Towers did collapse."

The grammar police might be watching your dotted ayes and crossed tees,

but its not a crime if U wish 2 right da wey U one 2 coz Yo Da Man!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next post will be on the 14th where I may just Strip down and Bare all since it's the anniversary of the 1st post. Bugger, blogging on holiday.

Shite. The flight is in a few hours and I havent started packing my smelly shoes.

Boobies!

Blogging WRITES

2006-11-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

True Happiness is to Have One's Passion as a Profession...Alain Silberstein

His mantra, delicately inscribed in soft metal, resonates through all his creations. You wonder though; "Is he really happy?"" Clever marketing?". A bit of both, but more likely, it principally serves to sustain his motivation in validating his choice of vocation. His stature in the horological world is unclear. His creations are not technically innovative and the designs are at best, Pop Art Warhol.

Its been an interesting few weeks or so as far as blogs entries are concerned. Intriguing stuff like bloggers writing for 'free', writers defending their profession, bloggers aspiring to be writers, and writers attempting to blog. Since the contagion effect and the chaos theory are in motion, I would like to add to the noise level..........

"Kicking a ball doesnt make you a footballer. If you happened to be one, plying your trade in the 2nd Division of the Malaysian League, Alain Silberstein would be a good role model."

In fairness, I dont think Alain desires great wealth from his work. It can't buy him accolades.

Back to the Grind

2006-10-31T14:09:00.001+08:00

The word anal has more negative connotations attached to it than Sheffield United's goal difference. Putting aside locality and faeces, what's so wrong with being analytical or analogous?

Nothing. Except that the worst kind gets stuck in.

You are Connected!

2006-10-19T14:56:00.000+08:00

Its true that it takes a second to score a goal. I was awake for that one second when the ball deflected off Crouch past the Bordeaux's goalkeeper. The keeper should claim for assist as he contrived to dive away from a lackadaisical ball that seemed to hoover mid-air, Matrix like. Ok, maybe 2 seconds.

Thats how long it took to juice up my liver with a shot of tequila. 12 seconds, half a dozen shots later, I was drenched with charisma. My 4 step moves, exhilarated rather than amused. A farewell drink too many for the Cat in the Hat at Velvet. He's moving to Europe for good. People should only move for better.

Time I pack my bags as my flight is a couple of hours away. The biggest challenge is to conceal, wrap and deodorize my running shoes. I dont want to attract too much attention as I havent been paying my taxes. Really, I'm not running away.

Effendi didnt get away with trying to flog off parcels of interior land as part of the divorce settlement. I dont think Farida is laughing though, the RM7 million cash wont go a long way to upkeep her vanity.

Apparently, the Tun and the PM are going to settle their differences before Raya. This culture of compromise is going to ruin the country. Can you imagine the conversation? Full of "saya setuju tapi". *roll eyes*

You may not agree but you might understand the point of this post. I can now confirm that the 6 degrees of separation works. I've linked Crouch to you through the Cat in the Hat, my running shoes, Effendi and the Prime Minister.

------------------------------------------

Have a good one! Normal headjob should resume in less hazy conditions.

A Crap Shot

2006-10-16T19:10:00.000+08:00

I've been sufffering a severe case of Mercator Projectionilitis while mulling over the Trans Siberian route. China appears bigger because its nearer to the equator and more central in the world map. China also appears bigger because we know its densely populated. This is relative to Russia which is approximately twice the size of China.

It makes a difference to your travel psyche; transversing through barren land when blighted with dysentery. Moscow-Beijing or Beijing-Moscow?

Since I like to mix' em up, the first thing I did today was to read spam. The count this morning was 112 (I trash them regularly).

72 were about some mortgage facility.
21 were about some stock tip.
15 were about getting your Green Card.
4 were about some hair loss product.

Whatever happen to "Gain 3 inches in length and producing harder and longer erections."?

Sheesh. The quality of spam these days.

Immortality

2006-10-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

She shuffled in at the last possible moment with her LV Murakami in tow. Although looking dishevelled, her ponderous demeanour endeared her to the other passengers. A kindly man helped tucked her bag in the overhead compartment.

She was porcelain white, not from exhaustion, but by diligently avoiding the sun. The whiteness was accentuated by the light shades of her clothes. Her top held up rather well given the gravity of her situation.

I took no further notice until we landed. She was seated at row 1 and I was 2 rows back. I moved to the front quickly as I was light of luggage. I thought she took a cursory glance towards my direction. Without much prodding, I took her bag down.

As we parted, she said goodbye. Later in the car, it dawned on me, she had her moment. She got her attention by simple gestures. Its not often a woman who's into her 60s captivates like she does.

I had my Immortality moment.

Special Haiku for Alex Yoong

2006-10-09T15:59:00.000+08:00

Alex finally comes good at the historic Brno circuit in Czech Republic.

Sure, I was one of your detractors and I did lust after Arianna but you could say that about 5 million other guys. Like a true Malaysian lalang, I'm firmly on your side now.

A specially composed haiku to commemorate our victory, dreamer boy.

Just when I had thought
you're an Elvis' devotee,
You Czech-mated me.

Will We Ever Learn?

2006-10-07T11:40:00.000+08:00

UKM, UM in Top 200
Overall Ranking show upward shift for Malaysian universities
The Star 7 October 2006.

"The THES rankings have been officially released and I'm pleased to see that there are 2 Malaysian universities in the top 200."....................."I'm confident our universities are well positioned to grow as drivers of Malaysia's human capital development." Datuk Mustapha Mohamed, Higher Education Minister.

"It was one of the saddest of my career. Looking at my colleagues in this room, I can see that they are all very sad too." Datuk Rafiah Salim, Vice Chancellor UM

"We may question the validity and reliability of the data on international faculty and student...."
Joint statement by the 4 universities.

"I maintain that I know the science behind the white matter." Sicko, President, sic6sense.blogspot.com

The Finishing Line - Cikgu Aidi

2006-10-05T14:47:00.000+08:00

"Cikgu Aidi, I understand the science behind the white matter."

Cikgu Aidi

2006-10-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

There's always one teacher who leaves an enduring impression. I was the one student who left my mark on that one teacher. Cikgu Aidi asked for me at the last reunion which I couldnt attend. He was my prefect and scout master from 20 odd years ago. *batuk*

I joined Scouts because the other options were Red Cresent, some Geography society and other Lit. type societies. I needed some action to quell my raging hormones. Of course, that didnt work, as Girls in Beret provoked unbrotherly like appreciation of my sisters in the community. Lord Baden Powell would be livid at the thought of girls joining the movement. He was ahead of his time; even then he knew women were vile.

I thought Aidi nice because he wanted to know of my interests. He thought me nice because I supported Liverpool. Since we were all chummy, he duly appointed me the leader of that batch. The following Monday, he made me prefect despite opposition from the other teachers.

One day, it all changed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(to be continued whenever)

I think I'll leave it at that and tag 2 persons to continue the story. Write as much or as little as you wish and tag someone else to continue. Actually, malas. LOL.

Hope Leen and Eyeris wont let it die a premature death.

Clueless

2006-09-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

"Arsenal vice-chairman David Dein has promised Arsene Wenger a job for life as he celebrates his 10th anniversary as manager of the Gunners. "

Suckers.

Resigned 10 times today. Yesterday, it was 5 times. If this upward trend continues, the job might be out of me. (you got to be kidding! There are at least 156,447 people in this city alone who can do a better job.)

I like the idea of being put out to pasture. (early retirement is only for the invalid, bozo!)

I could spend time on my hobbies. (hobbies are only for those who need a distraction from work, MacGyver!)

Social work is my calling. (Oi! The lost cause starts HERE!)

Ok ok I'll look for something "productive". (Hahaha.. you put the 'un' in productive, UNCLE)!)

So Mr. Smartass, what should I do then? (*beep*)

Hello??

Mental Notes

2006-09-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

I'm doing this little experiment of marrying Rococo's Baroque with minimalist Zen-like ideas. The two schools of design are antithesis of each other and conceptually, sits uneasily together. Baroque overwhelms with drama and superfluity where Zen is tranquil and measured.

The idea is to live within a Zen environment with the occasional indulgence in visual drama when you choose to do so. Like a peep show.

------------------------------------------------------------

Attempted some haiku the last few days, even left a haiku comment on drama mama's entry:

Reflective man, I'm.
You see yourself stripping down,
when you look at me.

What I like about this haiku is that the lines are interchangeable and the message remains.

When you look at me,
you see yourself stripping down.
Reflective man, I'm.

When you look at me,
I am a reflective man.
You strip yourself down.

Did a few more today but its hard work trying to keep to the rules of classical haiku. ie. 5 x 7 x 5 syllable, 17 in total.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Something's not right with the political climate. Its simmering down to a pulp after some vicious exchanges. When it gets quiet, a lot of plotting is going on.

The Amazing Flying Panda

2006-09-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

Religious affiliation, I have none. I've embraced the practice of it before but that was a long time ago.

The real world tribulations that inflict us on a daily basis, challenge our faith, ask questions and create greater conflicts. I'm not an expert in theology but through my studies of the prophecies of men and observations of the different denomination and branches of main religions, I'm further from the truth. I may not embrace organized religion but my sense of spirituality is occasionally piqued through a journey of self discovery.

Have you thought that religions that preach divinity could all be right? If so, then there must a God. All it takes is one of them to be right, actually.

God created little imperfections of himself. He calls them, his children. He intended them different, not because it will make the world an interesting place, but it provides a counter balance and check against each other.

Can you imagine otherwise? A world which is united by one faith. The leader of men, a Mr Mortal, would be so powerful that the lesser ones might think him divine. He would think so himself. That's why God wont allow it. Conflicts of men must therefore perpetuate.

I've no idea where I'm going with this but today at the long drawn board meeting, I was trying to resist the cakes since I had KFC for lunch. I finally succumbed 3 hours later when I heard the swiss roll calling out to me. "Eat me, eat me!" "I'll rollover and cream you!". The unloved muffins left standing, cried in unison, "Try us, try us!" "2 is better than 1!". I walloped everything.

Failure to Launch

2006-09-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

"A successful career is just a prefabricated metaphor for those without a calling in life." according to this scrumptiously impractical person.

It sure feels like it these days. I figure that a horse whipping is needed to get cracking. If not, I remain just well hung.

Perusing through my options, I could be

1. The Monk who sold his Ferrari.
2. The Poor Man's M. Night Shyamalan, making the Sixth Sense spoof appropriately titled sic6sense.
3. A popular blogger.

Option 3 seemed the most viable as all I need to do is post pics of myself and let the award nominations begin. No sweat for a beefcake like me.

Damn Tired Post

2006-09-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

I've slept a total of one day out of the last 10. I dont see dead people but I'm getting tired of the recycled conversations in my head. I wont listen anymore.

"

" " " " " " " " " " " " "" " " " ".

" " " "!

" ". " " " " " " " ".

" "!!

" " " ", " " " "?

"$ !"

" " " ".

" (A Mindless Conversation)

* Apparently, you learn more from what's not said.

Her Star is Bright

2006-09-11T14:27:00.000+08:00

The music shop wasnt overly crowded but there was one too many person for my liking. I listlessly ran through the latest releases when the attendant meekly beckoned me over.

In a manner so hushed that made the French Resistance seemed like Le Carnaval, I correctly lip read "Paris". I wink and nodded in agreement and handed over my credit card to complete the transaction.

With the CD safely tucked away inside the black plastic bag, I asked him if the album was selling well. Apparently, it's the fastest selling album this year and the profile of the buyers is middle aged and men. Not feeling too good, I bought a Fat Boy Slim compilation to redress the crisis.

I dont know if I like her music but I do admire her. She's having such a good time being young, frivolous and smart. Noone else makes money from trash like she does.

The Definitive 100th Post

2006-09-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

Since this is the 100th post, I thought I should put in some effort instead of posting the usual cop out entries. A few like princessbonksallday, the brainless braless babe, a foxy mama and a Birdie have at some point requested I do some memes. 4 by 4 ones and 100 things about me type.

I dont do memes but I'll do mine. Alphabetically indecipherable.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Air Flown Dicey Act (aphro-di-siac) is my alternative monicker in the internet.

I Blog because he thinks it would be entertaining. Go shoot him.

C is the first letter of my name. The Baby Book of Names thinks its Lordly.

I won my first Dog over a game of chess. The State player who was leaving for London deliberately threw the game to an unsuspecting 5 year old. A beagle 'inspiredly' called Snoopy was adopted.

I indulge in Epicurian delights. The Good God not only showed me how to fish so I wont go hungry but taught me that a feast is not a buffet.

Fetish, if any, is a well rounded compact butt.

Gestures define a person according to Kundera. Gesticulating must then make me personable.

I find solace in my Hobbies. Collecting watches makes me tick.

Idols I have none but I do admire great thinkers.

My Juices overflowed when I discovered the joy of travel.

Kun Nee Naa Boo, I wont do, because apparently mothers do not have sex.

Liverpool, I love absolutely. It pleasured me no end when we beat Chelsea at the CL semifinal last year. "Sicko Went, Saw and Pleasured."

I've nearly completed the preamble/concept for a Movie I intent to produce. I'm looking for proper scripwriters and actresses. Rest assured, the nude scenes wont be shown and will only be used for personal consumption.

My first beemer 12 years back, was my roving partner until someone pointed out to me that the Number plate 6753 means Cock Can't Stand in Canto.

Oral is not Speech but Lip Service to me.

If my Penis is the size of my foot, I would walk barefooted.

I've Quixote tendencies. I once finished a bottle of whisky at a single sitting because I couldnt wait to open the next one.

Romantic is not something I do very well. Giving women lighters because they light up my life were my best moments.

Sex. Yes, Please!

Travelling to the Sahara and living with the Berbers would be splendid. I can just picture the sunset.

I fear Ulcers. Especially after giving Head.

Vanity is me. Sometimes my efforts are in vain.

I love a good Whisky. Wine I like too. I dont believe in blind tasting. A 1961 Lafite should be looked at because you are drinking a bit of history.

Xrated movies and porn dont tickle my fancy. Pocahontas does.

"Yesterday.. all my troubles seem so far away". Until I woke up this morning.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 2.52 am. Clocking out.

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Over to you, Lils! You promised.

A Post before the 100th

2006-09-05T15:13:00.000+08:00

I'm a walking zombie with zero credibility. Luckily, I look good and smell nice. You get away with these sort of things in our society or so I thought.

Just figured out the meaning of Crisis Management after screwing up 3 clients. Pass the problems to your happy chappy partner and tell everyone he's the boss.

Unfortunately, its not so simple. They rather screw me.

The Tinker

2006-09-04T12:33:00.000+08:00

Lurvely.

You know you're needed when a whole slew of problems awaits your return. So I'll do what I know best.

Catalogue the issues. It should make good seating.

Drive me, silly!

2006-08-22T17:17:00.000+08:00

I'm monosyllabic at best with my driver. Even that, he doesnt quite get it at times.

The other day, perhaps I looked tranquilized from a heady mixture of multiple spirits, he capitalized on my fragile state and braved a question.

"Boss, I need to talk to you about something."

*grunt*

"Boss, I've got a problem. It concerns my manhood."

*feigns interest*

"I need your help."

"To?"

"I mean I've a problem performing."

At this point, I had to show some compassion. Afterall, my life is in his hands, literally.

"You mean after 2 kids, you're still doing it? Thought old married couples dont do it after a while. You can tell me the truth."

Silence.

"Boss, I love my wife and I.."

"So with your wife you cannot perform but with others you can?"

"Nooooo Boss!"

"Get new wife then."

"Nevermindlah, boss. Thanks."

*grunt*

I had to draw the line, unfortunately. I could have opened a catalogue of other problems if I had offered help.

Today, I still wonder why he thought I could.

*hmmmm*

The Ego Has Landed

2006-08-21T14:18:00.000+08:00

Excerpt of the speech of Ehud Olmert, Prime Minister of the State of Israel, published in Maariv on Monday, July 31, 2006.

"What is it about us, the Jews, the minority, the persecuted, that arouses this cosmic sense of justice in you? What do we have that all the others don't? In a loud clear voice, looking you straight in the eye, I stand before you openly and I will not apologize. I will not capitulate. I will not whine. This is a battle for our freedom. For our humanity. For the right to lead normal lives within our recognized, legitimate borders. It is also your battle.

I pray and I believe that now you will understand that. Because if you don't, you may regret it later, when it's too late. "

The narcissistic nature of politics and politicans. There's little compassion for others when a solution offers those who do.

Last night, at an international event in Kuala Lumpur, the Minister officiating the event was 2 and the half hours late. The person was rightly heckled and the chorus of boos disrupted the ceremony. Of course, the photos in the papers showed a happy shiny Minister.

The British and Singaporeans Ministers wont be caught late for any functions. It has been drummed into their code of conduct that 1,000 heads are worth more than one. Apparently, Lee Kuan Yew takes it upon himself to discipline the tardy ones.

It only takes ONE head to clean the cabinet. Its time, he does.

Breath of A Blogger

2006-08-17T13:42:00.000+08:00

There's so much media coverage on blogging these days that a blogger must be quite important . I noticed that bloggers have ceased to exist as people too. I've seen some declaration by ex-people who proudly announce that "I'm a blogger".

But I think its a secret society run by real people. They have all these clandestine meetings at fast food outlets where they meet and exchange photos. Conversation and common interests are secondary as long as you're a blogger.

There are benefits though. It gives you a job until you get a real one, hence, you can say "I'm a blogger". Your parents dont have to dodge the subject of your employment at family gatherings.

That is unless you're me. My business associates have heard about my blog which I vehemently deny. They think its a political blog which provides the occasional social commentary. Real people are so gullible.

I'm really confused though. Shouldnt blogging the activity be as intuitive as walking or watching CSI? Maybe I should glorify breathing then. "I Breathe, therefore I'm a Breather."

I like that. Everyone needs a breather.

Hour of Need

2006-08-15T12:09:00.000+08:00

Parting is difficult when you've emotionally invested. The decision is for the better as I've neglected and have spent too much time away from an obsession that once consumed me. As the strain of this is starting to fray the delicate quilt that is one's passion, I have gone back to look at where I started, why I created this, how far I have come.

Collecting fine watches demands time and finances. I started young and have always restructured and freshened up the collection when appropriate. I had a plan in 2000 where my target was to collect a variety of horological complications from innovative watchmakers on the verge of becoming mainstream and selective pieces from the established watchmakers. Each piece invested must also have a story to it. It should reflect a particular milestone, mood and event that marked that purchase.

Then something changed. I became fascinated with stories untold. An old vintage watch makes you dreamy and leaves plenty to the imagination. A fighter pilot's watch, circa 1940s, casts me away to Europe during wartime and the intensity of a fleeting encounter across the room at the Moulin. An old Patek would tell you a story of a generation of wealth to the generation that squandered it, as tin lost its metal.

The transaction was easy. My prices were met although I was hesitant. But I needed to break away from the things that once defined me; starting with my watches.

A little about the watches I sold:

Lange 1 Moonphase

I was intrigued with the history of Lange. A German watchmaker who shutdown during the war and reopened in the 1990s. Lange 1 changed a stuffy industry dominated by Swiss watchmakers. The design was unconventional for its time and the quality of the craftmanship had no parallel. It won numerous awards and made collectors scour the industry for independant talents beyond the main houses.

I like Lange's innovativeness and its courage to disrupt markets. I was once that, I need to rediscover that.

FP Journe Octa Calendrier

FP Journe benefitted from the exposure of Lange. He's an independant French watchmaker residing in Geneva. He was the one I speculated on; the next big thing. He didnt disappoint. He's today feted by the industry and sets the benchmark for independants aiming to succeed. I wear the watch he wears and told him so in writing. He wrote back thanking me for my faith.

I took 6 months of research before buying this watch although I didnt exactly pay for it. It was in return for a favour. His business has since flourished.

I sold at the prices I bought. Perhaps, I could've done better but the watches are in good hands and he's wants to look at my other watches. Somehow, I think he wants to know my story.

Anyone keen on buying some cars?

Annoyingly Funny!

2006-08-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

Today, I heard a joke. It was actually very funny.

It was so funny that I didnt just Laugh Out Loud. I went HAHAHAHA!!! with caps and multiple exclamations while rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.

People looking in started laughing too. It wasnt because they heard the very funny joke. They were laughing out pretty loud at me who acted funny because of that ridiculously funny joke.

I wanted to confirm the funny. So I heard it in my head. It was so contagiously funny because not only my head went funny but my hands and legs gesticulated in a slapstickly funny manner. My sides went a splitting and I may have peed but I wasnt too sure because I spilled my green tea.

I bet you guys would have found it deliriously funny and blog about it too.

A Marked Man

2006-08-10T02:08:00.000+08:00

I was 9 when I stopped being smart. Mrs Chan said nobody likes a Mr Know All. I decided to be cool.

So I became addicted to Ultraman.

I was 13 when I stopped crying. Wei Jin said that I must learn to hide my feelings. I learn too well.

So I dont sleep much.

I was 20 when I stopped asking for money. I told my dad I needed money for rent. He send a cheque for the exact amount.

So I didnt eat much.

I was 29 for a long time. Some thirty year old said life starts at 30. But I enjoyed my 29s.

So I grew other ways.

I was 32 when I started my own business. An old man said you'll succeed if you believe in the struggle.

So I sold the business.

I am today for what I could never be if I was what I could be.

Pointless Political Post

2006-08-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

Its not often you get an eclectic collection of politicans, pensioners and poets in a room. The ostracized politicans from Mahathir's regime namely, Tun Musa and Datuk Seri Anwar, shared private and long exchanges together oblivious to the observant crowd. Tun Salleh was consumed by the banquet and didnt offer fodder. He's no politican.

There were other Ministers past and present. Together with both the bekas DPM, they were charm personified. Only politicans shake ALL hands and laugh at ALL jokes. The lobbyists and moneyed are no better when in their company.

I had a good laugh too. At everyone including myself.

In most armies of the world, sex is repressed so that the soldier becomes very dangerous. He wants to hit hard, he wants to be violent. The American soldiers are allowed some sexual outlet to the extent that their potency at warfare is affected. Its been reported that at least 30% of the soldiers do not use their weapons. A sexually satisfied person is not really interested in killing.

Its a strange fact that whenever a society has been affluent and sexually free, it was destroyed by poor, backward and repressive societies. That was the fate of the Greek and Roman empires. That is probably going to be the fate of the Americans.

There's probably no correlation on the above to the ongoing Middle East crisis or the domestic dispute. It makes nice conversation when talking to politicans. Totally screws them up.

No Hope

2006-08-04T02:04:00.000+08:00

Its really funky when someone looks up to you. Especially an Oxford graduate who's been working abroad for the last few years.

So I bullshit as usual and as usual he thinks I'm beyond him. All because I told him I write occasionally. I Laugh Out Loud with you folks.

I showed him my blog through my tree geez phone no less. He went "Wow! UNCLE, not Bad!! So I said disagreed, "Really I'm BAD".

"No, I can tell you're really sweet, UNCLE." " Tell me the secret of your success."

Now he wants a tattoo too.

* After writing this post and before he slept, sicko pee-d into the laundry basket. Dont offer him champagne today if you meet him.

Sicko At Work

2006-08-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

The 100th post is a dozen short, a year of posts is mere months away. It is neither my birthday nor my sorrow that makes this post. This blog is meant to be apolitical, asexual and astute. It is void of emotional conflicts so it doesn’t reveal the vulnerability and pompousness of the writer. There are occasional lapses but mostly it is tempered so that the message is not clouded. When I write funny, I could be grieving and when my words look clever, I could be pissed out of my liver.

No wonder the blog is absolutely boring.

But it keeps me sane. That’s important.

Some SICism

2006-08-02T16:00:00.000+08:00

The perennial battle of the sexes is not one that concerns this blog as;

the writer is not representative of the average male. *coughs*
And,
a debate is about conflicting views. There is no meeting of minds, let alone outcome.

Although, according to Sicism;

Its clear to see if one can see clearly,
That our differences are to be celebrated,
In spite of them.

Amen-d to that.

The Walk of Shame

2006-08-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

The last commercial I did, left me wretched and scarred from the experience. It was Once Upon a Time ago, but those few days camped in the studio, shook the last remnants of naivety out of a delusioned youth.

I played the main lead in a cast of 7. Simple script, copied wholesale from the American version, where the magican walks across an uncovered bench of thirsty people waiting for a bus. I ended up at a vending machine that threw up cold bottles of the advertised soft drink which were gratefully received by that greedy lot.

It took 2 full days after some taichi, politicking and little cajoling to cast me away to the bench. The director decided I couldnt do the WALK and replaced me with his friend who was initially 'benched'. There I was thinking I had the swagger of James Dean on Speed, when there was this Caesarian plot going right under my crotch.

Months later, I bumped into them at a seedy joint. They were tongue wrestling each other and pretty much oblivious to my presence. Well, I didnt have a handbag to smack their pretty little faces so I cat pounded myself to the bar.

The TV ad ran for 2 short months. The drink flopped and only in the last few years it made a comeback into the local market. I was paid as per my contract as the lead while Brutus the Nutmeg got his dues, as per contract in the secondary role.

Perhaps there's little money in politics. Only airtime.

Louis Armstrong is Right

2006-07-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

Just had grilled beef with kimchi at the neighbourhood Korean restaurant. While waiting for the food, I had a bottle of Heineken and some Japanese sake served by a delectable Filipino. She thought I might like to watch some old Wacko Jacko concert on the dvd. I didnt want to be rude, so I appeared Thriller.

While we go about our daily business, we get further entrenched into a cosmopolitan environment. Even the local monkey knows his kampachi from ikan terubuk.

Little amazes us these days. That is, until we meet a Chinese Mickey Mouse.

Its a sacrilege that individuality and intellectual properties can sometimes be forsaken for cultural and social integration.

* HK Disneyland is strange but I cant imagine Winter Wonderland in the tropics of Johor. Project still on ke? Or do we need to trade sand for snow now?

Fussy Logic

2006-07-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

The greatest of philosophers and mathematicians have spent their lives dispelling certainties in lives; including long held views on logic and science. Classical logic generally deduces from a series of co-related events whereas, movements like Surrealism, by nature defies logic; it subscribes to nothing.

So are you one who says Fuck it! Shit Happens! Damn Luckylar!?

OR

One who doesn’t sleep at night?

A collector, through a middleperson, offered to buy one of my watches. The watch cost me a fortune a few years back. Its hardly worn, in mint condition and mostly forgotten. In addition, I've a dozen others which I regularly rotate. Although the offer was close to the purchase price, I couldnt part with the watch.

Nevermindlar!!

yet I cant sleep.

Saving Miss Universe

2006-07-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

For reasons unknown to mankind, I was glued to the cattle show. I was hoping the finest cut of Kobe would Trump the Rump from Puerto Rico. I take Beef at the judges' choice.

The other funny thing I noticed is how the South Americans can ramble on continuously without taking a breather. I'm blown away at THE thought. No wonder they are always favoured.

I missed Miss Malaysia. I always do, at the blink of the eye.

The local organizer is a friend of mine. Needless to say, everytime we meet, I try to impose my views on how we can unearth and nurture new talents. In fact, I offered my services for free in exchange for a business card which states that I'm a talent scout. He has declined so far but with a long line of failure, he might just be desperate enough.

Really, I'm doing it to make the world a better place, to save humanity and to be a soldier of peace.

Confession

2006-07-20T19:59:00.000+08:00

Before I get sued by some prospective advertiser, I'll admit that my invisible stat counter/site meter DOESNT exist.

Another confession. I had it for a few weeks months back but withdrew it because
1. It wasnt functioning well as it wasnt recording MANY hits.
2. I didnt need an effing software to tell me I'm my biggest fan.

Gimme me some lurveeeee!!

A Brain Tumor

2006-07-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

Some fella, titled ex PM, has the affinity for building monuments. Monumental success or otherwise, its still open to debate. But whats unquestionable, is that you must have the ego the size of a rat strolling across a crowded mamak stall to do so. Granted, some say balls.

Since I've eaten more salt and drunk more whisky than most, believe me when I say, our face is bigger than our brain. You may laugh but some people just don't realize that.

A friend of mine made some money from flogging his miserable company to the public. He wasnt satisfied with his loot, so he proceeded to build the biggest house this side of Suez. A 40,000 square feet structure on a 20,000 square feet land for a family of four.

He hasnt seen them since.

A Pretend Post

2006-07-17T13:44:00.000+08:00

Its hard pretending busy when you're actually busy. Everyone now thinks I'm REALLY pretending. That means I shouldnt REALLY be working. Hence, this post.

Point proven. Back to work*.

* I'm pretending pretend.

Dirty Martini

2006-07-16T17:38:00.000+08:00

Golf is brutal enough playing under the sweltering heat and 3 abusive opponents. Its a frigging nightmare when your body is still purging from excessive alcohol bingeing the night before. I didnt risk any squatting posture, so how to read the putts?

Mr PM arrived back from Perth last night to a crowd of 2,000 of which half were kids and the other half were their mums and some lowly politicans. The bet is that when the ex PM arrives from Turkey shortly, there would be at least 10,000 people.

Read into it as you please but I see a lot of headless people running around looking for a clue.

I prefer mine stirred AND shaken. Served from afar.

I'm turning PRO!

2006-07-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

I must be pregnant. I've just finished a jar of pickled salted fish. Well, it sure feels like it anyway.

Throughout my career, I've always disregarded authority and did as I saw fit. Funnily, all my bosses thought, since I was brighter than them, my future would be better served outside their organizations. Even when I was my own boss and counsel, I was sure I could run the country better than the Prime Minister. Like all underachievers, I flatter to deceive. I had neither the integrity, compassion nor the diligence.

But But, as in all mice and men, I'm never short of schemes. Analyzing my super invisible site meter, I'm clocking up an average of half a million hits a day. So, I'm turning PRO. Not professional, not prostitution but PROFITABLE. I've going to share my super hits with a specially selected advertiser of my choice since I can now demand.

My father taught me humility and magnanimity. I would like to share my killer letter to the advertisers with you.

Dear Sir/Madam

THIS IS NOT A SPAM. PLEASE GIVE IT A CHANCE! PLEASE! Please! please?

Since I've got your attention kind sir, please consider my win win proposition. I'm offering my blog's real estate exclusively for the purpose of developing your brand equity. My unique half a million hits a day includes key decision makers, namely mothers and wives. Really I kid you not, kind sir! If you cant fathom why a blog of this nature can garner the hits, just get your auditors to call me. I'll give them the exact number over the phone from my invisible stats counter. Yes sir! Hassle free and Honesty goes a long way in this business!

As you've have taken the trouble to read this far, a short CV is a good idea since I've NOTHING to hide.

Name : sic6sense
DOB : November 2005
Category : As you wish
Achievements : Apart from the millions of returning visitors, the blog has the ability to attract new market segments through crafty marketing. Its a trade secret, kind sir!
Ambition : To be of service to mankind, especially you kind sir!
Expected income : Its an exclusive deal and I've no intention to seek other advertisers, kind sir! (only USD 0.10 cents per hit and I'll 'special rebate' you. *wink*)

Please call me ANYTIME, kind sir! I'm only waiting for YOU.

Not a one hit wonder,

sic6sense

Select ALL. Send.

Eyes Wide Shut

2006-07-11T12:57:00.000+08:00

A documentary has been released to cloud the evidence of September 11. If I say "conspiracy", you would say "theory". This predictable behavioral pattern is formed through years of cultural and political propaganda. Of course, being Supersic, I see things differently through my Xray vision contact lenses.

1.Marco Materazzi walked into the bald pate of Zidane. I can conclusively say that it was a chest thump and not a head butt.
2.My clone's (Superman) spandex busting crotch is the result of regular hernia operation. He's Harry Kewell in disguise.
3. Akadami Fantasia is not a talent show....... Ok that is OBVIOUS.

That was just some sampling of my ability to see beyond the fantasy. I really need to go take a pee at the ladies' now.

A Soft Sport

2006-07-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

Something inexplicable happened during the course of the Wimbledon final. It was at the start of the 3rd set, when I wanted Nadal to compete and make Federer slog for his fourth consecutive title. By the end of the set, my loyalties firmly shifted towards a Nadal victory.

I love sports not for sporting reasons but for the nuances that turn a match into a compelling drama. It's beyond the shifts in momentum or the ability to conjure up a brilliant passing shot under pressure. The excitement lies in the demonstration of courage and fragility of the human psyche.

Notice during the coin toss, Nadal took his time and kept the umpire and Federer waiting?
Notice at the crossovers, Federer crossed ahead of Nadal at the start but by the end a pumped Nadal strode towards his chair like Federer was invisble?
Notice where Federer usually bounces the ball twice before a serve, he's now taking an additional bounce when serving out for the match?

Like everyone else, I love players and teams who play with flair and without fear. They are also easy on the eye unlike the dogged and determined ones who usually resort to winning ugly. Arguably, Nadal is the ugly dogged one but the intensity in his eyes conflicts with the softness of it. His demeanour off court is one of great humility and bashfulness. The boy is deep. There's more to him than meets the eye.

Only Zidane can save the World Cup. The competition needs a human story.

The Culture Boggles

2006-07-06T19:16:00.000+08:00

Our values and culture have conveniently been made a scapegoat time and time again. What's so wrong when a disgrunted old man lashes out at the PM? Because our culture dictates we must not speak our minds when something's amiss?

Thats why I hate attending board meetings. Everyone's pussyfooting around and if they need to drive home a point, they take the scenic route. If we cant debate issues amongst ourselves, its unlikely that we'll thrive outside.

While hamstering on the treadmill, I took a curious glance at some programme called Akademi Fantasia (apparently its very popular :p). The Head of Costumes was defending the choices made for the participants. She also pointed out that none of the participants gave any feedback and accepted the views of the image consultant. That reminded me of some actress type I met a while back. She was going through an image transformation and was getting a new wardrobe and car to go with it. I always thought image was personality based.

On the positive note, I like this new development for the tourist industry. Our cities are dull. Many of you who have travelled and lived abroad would agree. I'm waiting for some sanctimonious nut to politicize this and deemed it culturally dangerous.

Maybe they are right, our culture is just too shallow, hence the reinforcements. And the self appointed enforcers.

Hope and Hopeless

2006-07-04T14:46:00.000+08:00

She was so ravenous that she demanded a fist. Obediently, I knuckled down.

On a related note, I finally figured it all out. Life is not as straightforward as first thought; in fact, its in reverse. Consider for a moment that death is birth and vice versa.

If you check with your Gods , TV sermons and your parents, wisdom is directly correlated to age. Wisdom means clarity and clarity is the outcome of innocence. Based on my mathematical modelling using the Monte Carlo simulation, the wisest must be the most innocent who has the greatest clarity, and therefore, applying my Life Reversal Prophecy, we are dead at birth.

So you see, hope and hopeless are not always what they seemed.

*I know this post sucks but I need a closure on the previous series of hope and hopeless posts. So dont run away, normal headjob resumes.

Hope II

2006-07-04T03:18:00.000+08:00

This is hopeful but I shouldnt have done it nonetheless.

I feel a need to write, so I wont say too much.

Hope

2006-06-30T16:53:00.000+08:00

This is hopeful but I shouldnt have done it nonetheless.

I swallowed a handful of chocolates, it stops me from guessing what I'm going to get next.

Hopeless III

2006-06-29T02:53:00.000+08:00

This is hopeless but I need to do it nonetheless.

I'm older now, I seek renewal.

Hopeless II

2006-06-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

This is hopeless but I need to do it nonetheless.

My runaround car doesnt smell new anymore, I need a change.

Hopeless

2006-06-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

This is hopeless but I need to do it nonetheless.

If England qualifies for the WC Final, I'll be going to Berlin.

Tit of An Idea

2006-06-22T22:05:00.000+08:00

Flashes of the 9th Malaysian Plan and Vision 2020 rudely interrupted my day time fantasy of flossing Kylie's dentures. The Government and the Oxbridge type folks would thank me for the piece that will glue other pieces, the lie that will cover other lies and the killer strategy that will destroy all TIUs (This Idea is Useless).

And I'm giving away this miracle of a tit sucking idea free. This country needs 4 seasons. Thats right, you heard it here first. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. We have wrongly benchmarked DEVELOPED. Its not about GDP, education or the environment, its about the fact that ALL developed countries have 4 seasons. The damn Singaporeans are getting it right; they have airconditioned the whole island.

Imagine all industries would increase 4 folds. A black Kelisa for winter, the auburn one for autumn, baby blue for spring and hot chilli red topless one for summer. Even the Bakun project would become feasible as more power are consumed during those cold sexless nights.

My brilliant execution strategy comes cheaper than a 1 hp air condition. Really, its cummingggggggggg!!! ohHHH yeahhhhhhh!!!

Told you it was a tit sucking idea.

Damn Drama Post

2006-06-21T16:21:00.000+08:00

Being a kiasu person, I shall also partake in the current wave of histrionics sweeping the blogsphere. Whether it's valid or gimmicky or just a cry for attention by the bloggers retiring, I want to throw out my toys too. I dont care!

So here goes my drama queen post.

"

" (A Gagged Gag)

Malaysia's Best World Cup

2006-06-20T12:24:00.001+08:00

Apparently, Ukranians are not familiar with their national anthem. That got me warbling on ours without hitting the right notes. At least I knew the lyrics (although it didnt sound lyrical). Take my word for it.

Since we're only going to make the WC Finals sometime in the 2020s, coinciding with our Long Vision and notwithstanding our Short Execution skills, our best WC todate was the 1982 edition. The Tabung Rakyat, which put the finances of RTM to shame, was the best thing that happen to us since paper thin tosei. We were not only spared Osim's prancing horses but Shebby too. Back then, he was just Serbegeth Singh.

Although I didnt contribute to the Tabung as I was a mere student with raging hormones, I felt immense pride everytime Negara Ku was played before the live feed. It was the original long winded rendition but you knew everyone was singing it aloud from the Mamak to Melaka.

The football was excellent too. The best Brazillian team, a brilliant French team and the resilient Italians. I didnt like the Germans for their workmanlike approach but hate sure fueled the passion. Now, they that they have discovered flair and displayed vulnerability, the Germans have become likeable.

This WC's drama is yet to unfold. I suspect the definitive moment would be when Shebby finally makes the right prediction.

My Hump

2006-06-16T12:30:00.000+08:00

I did my 'first everything' when I was a teenager. Many very many years later, I still behave like one.

Lacking parental guidance and interest in biology, I discovered sex (or rather spanking the monkey) through a book called, "The Flyboys in London", some poor excuse of a story to write about a humping airline and its crew. Key words that caught my attention then were " In, Out" and "Up, Down".

I was really clueless but since all my blood was rushing to a focal point, an explosion was imminent. With little help, the book was drenched, the sheets were stained and I was traumatized. When I finally regained my composure in an hour, I begin to appreciate the words and messages emanating from that dastardly story. So I did it again just to confirm my understanding.

This story mirrors my other accidental discoveries at that time. I was completely naive, but looking back, I wonder if I would have derived as much pleasure otherwise.

Headbanger

2006-06-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

Bereft of ideas at the moment since the idiot box (re: World Cup) has taken over, I'm turning into a zombiefied lump of lard. No wonder I'm suffering a meltdown.

Hitting the treadmill like an overzealous hamster heading nowhere is cutesy but its begining to run its course. Swimming laps is great until you figured that you've been swallowing pee. All this exercise is giving me rushes and rashes for the wrong reasons.

And work. Thats why its called W-O-R-K. Its hard and gets in the way of doing things that you like. Like being a lard.

What about hobbies? Used to have millions of them like the very mundane (stamps, really) to the very expensive (watches, really). Hobbies are for those fertile with ideas and enthusiasm. I need fertility treatment.

Lets list down some ideas.

1.

I need help.

A Picker Me Upper

2006-06-07T14:04:00.000+08:00

Since I needed a laugh after being emotionally drained yesterday, I made up a joke since I found others conventionally funny. So I call today's invention, 'Logic Defying Joke'.

How do you smell a rat?
Logic dictates that you hold it close.

How do you smell a rat from afar?
You can always smell a dirty rat from afar.

Dirty, clean or paraplegic, a rat is still a rat, right?
RAT-A-TAT-TAT! Thats why we shoot them down all the same!

Hahaha! That was so uplifting, just like a glass of champagne after work. I'm so perked up now.

Bring em' auditors on!!

Damn Emo Post

2006-06-06T18:58:00.000+08:00

There's something about June that makes bloggers go emo. So many emo posts by bloggers I read regularly. So emo that I better not provide any links. I'm smart like that, although some say cold and clinical.

I'm getting really emo now, so here goes my emo June post. Raw and mostly rare.

"

" (A Silent Cry)

* Come to think of it, I've written emo before.

Go Figure

2006-06-06T16:13:00.000+08:00

Given the knowledge you have 5 years post September 11 2001, would you change the course of history and erase the attacks on the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon?

Consider that many more have died than the estimated 3,000 that perished in the attacks And that the world has become more divisive because of politics
And racial and religious profiling have become more pronounced than at any point in history And terrorism and violence have been exacerbated since 9/11

Applying the Theory of Chaos and religious theories to this event, tsunamis, hurricanes and the bird flu epidemic seemed plausibly linked although its arguably rich. Invariably, the naysayers are 'positively optimistic' that the world will end. Morons of the oxy kind, I say.

What about the impact of the 3,000 families, friends and pets that have moved on? Would they want a different outcome given the lives they have today?

I'm still figuring it out apart from trying to figure out what made me figure out this in the first place.

The Common knows Sense

2006-06-01T20:27:00.000+08:00

Small talk precommencement of big time negotiations by hotshot Oxbridge type fellas.

Ox : "all this calamity everywhere killing so many people. The pregnants ones sure become pontianaks"
Bridge: "Nolah!. Its the virgins and spinsters who become pontianak le"

Can someone please clarify this?

Overheard while getting stroked by my hairdresser.

Auntie: "market cannot play one. only the big syndicates make money and we all end carrying their babies. govmen just talk and talk about controlling them but no action.
Blowgirl: "haiya auntie, they always say that after the market koyak. When everything up, everyone syiok. When finish syiok, we all carry the baby lah.

I understood.

(picture: A pregnant pontianak?)

The Politics of Fear

2006-05-31T12:48:00.000+08:00

For reasons which are unreasonable considering that I'm in the midst of a work crisis, my thoughts shifted to the French and Bolshevik revolutions and the politics of this country which is dominated by one party. Then I thought I shouldnt drink too much as my mental faculties are on sick leave.

Behind this randomness, I've discovered I've been manipulated by fear. Politically, socially and spiritually, the basic tenet of human behaviour is driven by fear. But is fear bad? In some context, fear is a virtue. Fear God for he is the Almighty and fear the powerful forces of nature. Its also fear that stop us from coveting our neighbours' spouses.

While we allow these sort of fears to heighten our appreciation of life, its also fear that incapacitate us, casting a shadow over our ability to trust our instints to survive and flourish. Browsing over some Macchiavelli articles, this culture of fear is embedded in politics, media and religion.

I suppose the answer to our fear must lie in the opposite definition of fear. Courage is more exhilarating than fear apparently.

A DAMN Football Match

2006-05-30T10:45:00.000+08:00

Something's amiss when your PM is involved in a reality TV programme. Surely, there are more pressing matters at hand than an inconsequential football match. By attending the match, he put himself in a DAMN DAMN situation. Damn, if you showed allegiance to the national team (and incur the wrath of 50k oddballs) and Damn, if you supported your son in law's MyTeam (which he did by showing up).

I'm with FAM (the football association) on this. Why risk the non existant reputation of the national team further when they are already doing a fine job themselves?

I feel nausea just thinking about the whole thing.

Screwing Around

2006-05-24T13:13:00.000+08:00

The little experiment is over and I feel liberated!

Since last Tuesday I've blogged daily excluding the weekends (even God rests) to test a theory of mine.

"Daily grinders make better whores"

Apart from loosening up, I've become more intuitive with the things that makes this experience gratifying. Anyway, I've got a plane to catch.

Daily service will resume next week. Muah!

Seeing is Believing

2006-05-23T21:19:00.000+08:00

The first time I met the Prime Minister, I had the audacity to laugh at his high waisted pants covering his ample midriff. I've also had the pleasure of watching the CEO of a local conglomerate devouring nostril pickings. Another time, an unattainable luscious spread of a rather delightful dish slithering across the room had the bouquet of a constipated camel.

The people I met, but the rest were fabricated in my mind so that they become approachable, weak or undesirable.

The next time I look into your eyes like I'm all ears when I'm all mind, I'm trying to contain myself from getting into your pants. And dont mind that hint of a grin either.

Enola is not a Gay song

2006-05-22T19:04:00.000+08:00

Mummy is no bombshell.

Enola Gay, you should have stayed at home yesterday
Oho it can't describe the feeling and the way you lied

These games you play, they're gonna end it all in tears someday
Oho Enola Gay, it shouldn't ever have to end this way

It's 8:15, that's the time that it's always been

We got your message on the radio, condition's normal and you're coming home
Enola Gay, is mother proud of little boy today
Oho, this kiss you give, it's never ever gonna fade away

Enola Gay, it shouldn't ever have to end this way
Oho Enola Gay, it should've faded our dreams away

It's 8:15, oh that's the time that it's always been

We got your message on the radio, condition's normal and you're coming home
Enola Gay, is mother proud of little boy today
Oho, this you give, it's never ever gonna fade away

I love this song by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD). 20 odd years on, its still ringing in my head, and then, it occurred to me .......IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE!

Enola Gay is the B 29 bomber which dropped the first atomic bomb at Hiroshima. Through some extensive research (google no less), I found out that the plane was named by the pilot, Paul Tibetts, in memory of his mother.

Sweet but if you're going to kill 40,000 civilians, surely mummy wouldn't approve let alone unload her booty.

Dangerous Ideas from An Idle Mind

2006-05-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

I love the idea of rebadgeing cars and calling it our own. It sure saves you lots of money from unnecessary research, marketing and other important stuff that makes a business tick. This killer idea should have been incorporated into the 9MP and the Vision 2020.

Some would claim that this idea is not new as it has been implemented previously in trying to reverse the brain drain. This was an astounding success apparently, as shiploads of Indonesian immigrants were given citizenship to arrest this disturbing outflow. It was so successful that other peripheral industries benefitted. Construction of police beats and the security business saw an exponential growth in revenue.

On a personal note, I wonder if I can borrow someone else's blog and rename it. I like this person.

Da Vinci Demystified

2006-05-18T15:39:00.000+08:00

because I'm a trend setter, i stopped reading Da Vinci Code and ignored everything about it when it became fashionable And because I set trends, and since the movie is out And since it has become fashionable to dismiss it, I'm going to watch it because I think its fashionable to set the trend of liking it.

I hope its a romantic comedy because I need a laugh.