The Walk of Shame

The last commercial I did, left me wretched and scarred from the experience. It was Once Upon a Time ago, but those few days camped in the studio, shook the last remnants of naivety out of a delusioned youth.

I played the main lead in a cast of 7. Simple script, copied wholesale from the American version, where the magican walks across an uncovered bench of thirsty people waiting for a bus. I ended up at a vending machine that threw up cold bottles of the advertised soft drink which were gratefully received by that greedy lot.

It took 2 full days after some taichi, politicking and little cajoling to cast me away to the bench. The director decided I couldnt do the WALK and replaced me with his friend who was initially 'benched'. There I was thinking I had the swagger of James Dean on Speed, when there was this Caesarian plot going right under my crotch.

Months later, I bumped into them at a seedy joint. They were tongue wrestling each other and pretty much oblivious to my presence. Well, I didnt have a handbag to smack their pretty little faces so I cat pounded myself to the bar.

The TV ad ran for 2 short months. The drink flopped and only in the last few years it made a comeback into the local market. I was paid as per my contract as the lead while Brutus the Nutmeg got his dues, as per contract in the secondary role.

Perhaps there's little money in politics. Only airtime.

Louis Armstrong is Right

Just had grilled beef with kimchi at the neighbourhood Korean restaurant. While waiting for the food, I had a bottle of Heineken and some Japanese sake served by a delectable Filipino. She thought I might like to watch some old Wacko Jacko concert on the dvd. I didnt want to be rude, so I appeared Thriller.

While we go about our daily business, we get further entrenched into a cosmopolitan environment. Even the local monkey knows his kampachi from ikan terubuk.

Little amazes us these days. That is, until we meet a Chinese Mickey Mouse.

Its a sacrilege that individuality and intellectual properties can sometimes be forsaken for cultural and social integration.

* HK Disneyland is strange but I cant imagine Winter Wonderland in the tropics of Johor. Project still on ke? Or do we need to trade sand for snow now?

Fussy Logic

The greatest of philosophers and mathematicians have spent their lives dispelling certainties in lives; including long held views on logic and science. Classical logic generally deduces from a series of co-related events whereas, movements like Surrealism, by nature defies logic; it subscribes to nothing.

So are you one who says Fuck it! Shit Happens! Damn Luckylar!?

OR

One who doesn’t sleep at night?

A collector, through a middleperson, offered to buy one of my watches. The watch cost me a fortune a few years back. Its hardly worn, in mint condition and mostly forgotten. In addition, I've a dozen others which I regularly rotate. Although the offer was close to the purchase price, I couldnt part with the watch.

Nevermindlar!!

yet I cant sleep.

Saving Miss Universe

For reasons unknown to mankind, I was glued to the cattle show. I was hoping the finest cut of Kobe would Trump the Rump from Puerto Rico. I take Beef at the judges' choice.

The other funny thing I noticed is how the South Americans can ramble on continuously without taking a breather. I'm blown away at THE thought. No wonder they are always favoured.

I missed Miss Malaysia. I always do, at the blink of the eye.

The local organizer is a friend of mine. Needless to say, everytime we meet, I try to impose my views on how we can unearth and nurture new talents. In fact, I offered my services for free in exchange for a business card which states that I'm a talent scout. He has declined so far but with a long line of failure, he might just be desperate enough.

Really, I'm doing it to make the world a better place, to save humanity and to be a soldier of peace.

Confession

Before I get sued by some prospective advertiser, I'll admit that my invisible stat counter/site meter DOESNT exist.

Another confession. I had it for a few weeks months back but withdrew it because
1. It wasnt functioning well as it wasnt recording MANY hits.
2. I didnt need an effing software to tell me I'm my biggest fan.

Gimme me some lurveeeee!!

A Brain Tumor

Some fella, titled ex PM, has the affinity for building monuments. Monumental success or otherwise, its still open to debate. But whats unquestionable, is that you must have the ego the size of a rat strolling across a crowded mamak stall to do so. Granted, some say balls.

Since I've eaten more salt and drunk more whisky than most, believe me when I say, our face is bigger than our brain. You may laugh but some people just don't realize that.

A friend of mine made some money from flogging his miserable company to the public. He wasnt satisfied with his loot, so he proceeded to build the biggest house this side of Suez. A 40,000 square feet structure on a 20,000 square feet land for a family of four.

He hasnt seen them since.

A Pretend Post

Its hard pretending busy when you're actually busy. Everyone now thinks I'm REALLY pretending. That means I shouldnt REALLY be working. Hence, this post.

Point proven. Back to work*.

* I'm pretending pretend.