I must be pregnant. I've just finished a jar of pickled salted fish. Well, it sure feels like it anyway.
Throughout my career, I've always disregarded authority and did as I saw fit. Funnily, all my bosses thought, since I was brighter than them, my future would be better served outside their organizations. Even when I was my own boss and counsel, I was sure I could run the country better than the Prime Minister. Like all underachievers, I flatter to deceive. I had neither the integrity, compassion nor the diligence.
But But, as in all mice and men, I'm never short of schemes. Analyzing my super invisible site meter, I'm clocking up an average of half a million hits a day. So, I'm turning PRO. Not professional, not prostitution but PROFITABLE. I've going to share my super hits with a specially selected advertiser of my choice since I can now demand.
My father taught me humility and magnanimity. I would like to share my killer letter to the advertisers with you.
Dear Sir/Madam
THIS IS NOT A SPAM. PLEASE GIVE IT A CHANCE! PLEASE! Please! please?
Since I've got your attention kind sir, please consider my win win proposition. I'm offering my blog's real estate exclusively for the purpose of developing your brand equity. My unique half a million hits a day includes key decision makers, namely mothers and wives. Really I kid you not, kind sir! If you cant fathom why a blog of this nature can garner the hits, just get your auditors to call me. I'll give them the exact number over the phone from my invisible stats counter. Yes sir! Hassle free and Honesty goes a long way in this business!
As you've have taken the trouble to read this far, a short CV is a good idea since I've NOTHING to hide.
Name : sic6sense
DOB : November 2005
Category : As you wish
Achievements : Apart from the millions of returning visitors, the blog has the ability to attract new market segments through crafty marketing. Its a trade secret, kind sir!
Ambition : To be of service to mankind, especially you kind sir!
Expected income : Its an exclusive deal and I've no intention to seek other advertisers, kind sir! (only USD 0.10 cents per hit and I'll 'special rebate' you. *wink*)
Please call me ANYTIME, kind sir! I'm only waiting for YOU.
Not a one hit wonder,
sic6sense
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11 comments:
kaki ampu, kind sir.
LOL! You're a nutter, you know.
your invisible meter says you have that much ah? WAAAAAH!!
your deception isn't going to work this time!
wot's that melayu saying? "pandai pandai tupai melompat akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga". or is this the wrong saying? failed my BMla but still attempting.
Eh! sounds like you sic, always attempting. : P
Oik. Are you saying all your female readers wear grandma panties ke?
eh..that anon was me, Lily. Wot the xxxx is wrong with dashboard?
mamak, teh tarik kurang manis satu.
blog real estate...hahhaha, what a brilliant idea! wanna get into a joint venture with me on this??? we spilt the profits in half.
Oh Lordy. Does this mean that soon we won't be able to see the indecipherable posts for the ads, ah?
:P
And Lily, I can personally attest that this particular female reader of sic's wears grandma panties. HAHAHAHA (Viva La Bridget Jones!) =))
somehow, i've no answers to the comments. I'm stumped by how random and pointless we all are.
yng lyn, sorry terdelete your comment! I dont have fan base just sympathizers. :)
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