Thursday, March 29, 2007


I'm not one for the brilliance of a sunrise or the introspective sunset. There's nothing quite like the transition into nightfall. Or the moment after dusk.

I'll sit in darkness. Waiting.


A flustered labia wrote to me.

Sharifah Labia said...

Look at me, I'm Lily O,
lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed, I can't,
I'm Lily O,

Watch it, hey, I'm Siti Nurhaliza I was not brought up that
Won't come across,
even Datuk K lost his heart to Siti Nurhaliza

I don't drink or swear, I won't rat my hair,
I get ill from one cigarette
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers.
Would you pull that crap with Mother Theresa?

As for you, Sicko, I know what you wanna do
You got your cheezy crust, I'm no object of lust,
I'm just plain Lily O,

Elvis, Elvis, let me be, keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool,
now you're starting to drool
Hey, dungu, I'm Lily O.

2:40 PM, March 28, 2007

Dear Sharifah Labia,

I'm Sicko, dont look at me,
you already know.
I dont need a bed
to screw your brains dead.

I'm Sicko without the standalone Zero.
No wonder
you cant get a score Lily O.

The Sicko aint no saint.
Even he wont do the dirty
on mother theresa of calcutta.
God bless her soul.

keep your knickers on, Lily O.
Its pouring.
tom's tumb may be handy,
for one uptight.

You're right Lily O,
I dont fit in.


Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Grease Lightning

The extent of human greed is truly bewildering.

For some reason or another, I've been inundated with matters concerning the environment. I'm going to do my part in making the world a better place. A place where our children can run naked without fear of drowning, overheating and Datuk Ks.

Ask Siti. Its not easy washing off grease.

Since there are no distressed readers this week, I'm going to write a short letter to the PM because he might be.

Dear PM,

No sir, I'm not addressing the afternoon. I'm referring to the afterthought.

You were not the first, second nor the third choice. Its worse. You're becoming Sophie's Choice.

Please prove us wrong.


*A "Sophie's Choice" is a tragic choice between two unbearable options.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Green Not Envy

This has to be written with some conviction. I may the wrong person to propagate this but dont let the flippant design of this post undermine the gravity of the message. Shoot the messenger, if need be.

These mutually exclusive events took place last week.

1. An Irish friend showed a business model integrating environmental concerns with a social network. The business of the future.
2. Gore's Inconvenient Truth enlightened. It wasnt just learning about how fragile our earth is, but it made me realized that the right President won. Gore wouldnt have been an effective environmentalist if he was ruling the world.
3. Nostradamus had the audacity to invade my sub-conscience. Next time I fall asleep on the sofa, I'll make sure the cartoon network is on instead.

Since the world is ending soon, go watch Gore's movie for your own sake. I'll continue blogging naked for yours and the environment's sake.

a brainwave: we should have a Blogging Naked and Dont Shower Week supporting the Kyoto Declaration. I promise a farting good time.

Ok to a more serious matter. A troubled reader.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sicko,

I am in my 30s and I have been been busting balls for many years. I dont think I can do this for long. I am tired of the effort I put in, time allocated to it and shit I have to take so that I can maintain my existing lifestyle. This lifestyle is not anywhere near great to warrant me to maintain it. I would like to be rich and bored like you. Please advice.


Dear John,

Thank you for having the balls to write in. Busted it may be.

I know of a friend who gave up her career and lifestyle for her own sanity (thats open to debate). Fortunately, she has the talent and the gumption to cultivate her interest into a rewarding one financially.

No, she's not a cyclist.

Then there's me. I've no talent and have a distaste for the daily grind. I wish I had more money and fit into a size 32 pants.

Fortunately, I dont really care to be like anyone else. Maybe thats the difference between you and me.


Thursday, March 15, 2007

This is not Dear John

Its terribly unsettling when you get it wrong 90% of the time. I've 2 locks securing my main door and it always take 4 turns to get it right. The yin of my yang is imbalanced.

There's this other thing. Someone thinks I've a good thing with the Dear Sicko letters. The last person who did a Dear John blog didnt last too long. It wasnt wise of him seeking his own counsel for the same demons admonished.

Pugly tagged me. I dont normally do tags but since she has good traffic, its wise to do so. Some weird stuff about me.

1. I blog naked,
2. sometimes single handedly but
3. always fidgeting
4. because I need to get my alignment right.
5. If I touch left, I need to touch right.
6. I cant be touching you too.


This inquiry should be dealt with as it concerns me.

Sharifah Lili Labia al Konek said...

abang sicko,

adik di fahamkan di kelas mengaji masa adik kecil dan comel dan masih dara dulu, bahawa konek yang halal adalah konek yang telah disunat, iaitu yang tidak dipakaikan jaket kulit lagi.adakah ini bermakna, kalau adik bermain dengan jejaka yang telah disunat, ini tidak dimasukkan kategori berzina?

Mahukah abang sicko berzina dengan adik?

Sharifah Lili Labia al Konek,

Pertama sekali, abang minta izin berbalas dalam bahasa kebangsaan, iaitu bangsa English. Of course.

I anticipate your reply but time awaits no man. Even if the only man you know is your Pak Haji who kindly exhibited his halalness to you.

You confuse me and therefore I'm confused about wearing a jacket. Nevertheless, if you read about the Emperor's New Clothes, you might just understand. Let me quote.

"obvious truth denied by the majority despite the evidence of their eyes, especially when proclaimed by the government." Smell the cheese (roses).

This blog wont self destruct like Dear John. I cant be your counsel and your demon. Sorry, no zina.


Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I think I'll swim tomorrow

I've finally dipped under 25 minutes for a 5km run. My knees are wobbly but unfortunatley, my stomach still is. A change of routine might help.

My first post in BM. (okay, parts of it). The letters of the week:


adik comel yang tidak begitu bijak berkata-kata said...

abang sickobuat masa ini, saya begitu kepingin menikmati sebatang lollipop. pada masa yang sama juga, saya ingin memiliki sebuah kereta mini cooper. bolehkah abang sicko yang bijak pandai, lagi kekar dan perkasa, membantu saya?

Adik comel yang tidak begitu bijak,

Walaubagaimanapun bahasa melayu sicko koyak mengoyak, sicko tak bias.

Lollipop yang dinikmati itu harap rasa anggur kerana boleh jadi pandai seperti Kojak. Walaupun rambut dia gugur, dia masih cukup seksi. Kebijaksanaannya boleh dikesan dari kepala yang begitu besar dan berkilat. Omputeh cakap, "He's bright".

adik comel, sicko kurang percaya adik tak begitu bijak. Adik pandai 'multitasking', ingin menjilat lollipop sambil bermimpi memiliki kereta yang termasyhur dunia, Mini Cooper. Adik cukup ambitious nampak. Untunglah negara kami dapat warganegara yang berkhayalan Global.

Oleh kerana sicko pandai, etc etc, nasihat yang disampaikan harap adik tolong memberi pemerhatian.

"Bermimpi itu bagus kalau adik tak berbangun."
"Sicko juga ingin bermain dengan Anggun,"
"Tapi takut pergi Indo kerana banyak gempar bumi."
"Adik akan bangun bila Putera menciumi."

Realiti ada juga nikmatnya.




Keropok said...

Dear Sicko,My, err... friend says his kulit-empat (four-skin) is so long, each time his awek goes down on him, he entire head gets in. ANy advice for err... him?

Dear Keropok

Dont fret, my friend. (your friend?ours?Whatever)

I think its pretty cool that his entire head gets into her mouth when she goes down on him. Kulit-empat long ada khasiatnya. Good for cheese accumulation. I hope she's likes it pungent.