Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Harems and Sluts

Spend the morning thinking about The Alhambra, The Ottoman Empire, Morocco and the Gulf States. About harems to be precised.

With the exception of the Gulf States, the demise of these empires corresponded with a preceding increase in the size of the harems. Morocco's monarchy survived through its present form arguably, because of the dismantling of his father's harem by King Hassan II. General Oufkir's attempted overthrow of King Mohamad V in the 60s was partly driven by politics but mainly by the public's contempt of the lifestyle of the rulers. The Ottoman's state budget was stretched to the extend that linen and stipend allowances affected spending on bullets and military recruitment.

What would it take to build and sustain a harem today?

Apart from infinite amount of moolahs, we need to retrack back all advances, dismantle all progress and withdraw all rights, women take for granted today. Religion and especially archaic scriptures, where women are subservient and substitutable, should be promoted. They should also be devoid of emotions and confined their passion to pleasing their master in as many contorted ways as possible.

Dont think it will work for me though. I like my women loud, crass and opinionated. I concede, sluttish too.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Voyeurs, Peeping Toms and Exhibitionists

Spot the difference?Do you partake, assist, accessorize or observe?

Apparently, this was taken in Paris and posted by a self proclaimed voyeur friend of mine. I'm not sure where the line is drawn but the difference between consent and non, has great impact on the magnitude of my testicular fortification.

As a boy going through adolescent, the window in my room literally opened my eyes to the pleasures and pains of mental orgasms. My luscious neighbour across would religiously get up at 6.30 am, shower and dress for work. She wasnt really adept at menial tasks such as drawing the curtains shut but I wasn't about to complain. Afterall, she didnt know of my pitiful existence. Yes, despite having classes in the afternoon, I would be up at 6.15 am, get into position and ready to capitalize on her slip ups. We were both creatures of habit.

Occasionally, I would catch a glimpse of her in all her glory but honestly, that was like once every 20 times. Each time, however, was memorable on its own, in that I was discovering new sensations and playing different scenes in my head. It was THAT intense.

Couple of years back during happy hours at The Hard Rock Cafe KL, a European couple was doing stool aerobics. They carried on despite having a crowd gathering and cheering them on. He didnt suffer any performance anxiety and proceeded to finish the job. I was part of the crowd and was surprisingly, pretty disgusted . Yeah, the Peeping Tom, me.

The moral of the story?(what morals!).....i've Peeping Principles.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The HOM Gourmet Inexperience (HOMGI)

"That was Dali on a plate! All my senses were aroused by your imaginative take on the sauteed tiger penis with chilli padi complemented by the balls that were so succulent that my palate was cleansed."

"Excellent recommendation on the red from Burgundy or was it Bordeaux?" .."Errrrr, that's the award winning shiraz from Bangalore."

" Wahhhh so damn worth it. I insist on paying you double for the most orgasmic experience I've had since I did the double split."

What any decent award winning fine dinning restaurant would pay to get compliments such as these. That is where HOMGI differentiates itself. It will not pretend to serve the best food nor provide the best entertainment. In fact, it promises you NOTHING.

I cant cook. In fact, boiling an egg is a big ask. But what I've is great passion for food and the eye for the delectable. My heroes are Kylie Kwong because she overcomplicates her dishes so they must be good, Nigella because I love the way she tickles the red slab of beef with her greasy fingers, Jamie Oliver because he talks a good dish despite having a short tongue, Tony Bourdain because he eats and eats anything and everything and is still skinny and of course, Chef Wan because he's good at sucking up and apparently service is important in a business like this.

Since I'm not pretending to be good, the menu will be limited to 6 items (my lucky number, I think). The dishes will be all sourced from the best ...eg Champ's prawn noodles, Kanpei's chicken liver, Tanabe's unagi broth. Of course, I'll buy at cost from them, promise them free advertising and charge the unknowing public too much. The dishes would also have a ranking with the bottom 2 dropped and replaced by other 'world best' dishes monthly.

The haute and or nouvelle cuisine element would come from my own and my friends creations. It will be FREE to all customers with the only condition that they sign a no liability clause. It will be introduced on Wednesday to great aplomb where there's going to be live feed on the preparation right through to customers' reactions. On receving recommendations on improving the dish, a 2nd attempt will be made on Saturday. Every week, a new creation will be introduced.

The bar will have the the most comprehensive selection of single malts and vodka available. Hopefully, it will be on consignment because I cant bloody afford to buy everything. Of course, I'll give free promotions and the suppliers can get 2nd helping of my special dish.

Entertainment is by way of self inflicted ones. Chill loungetype music will be the backdrop and at 10 pm everyday for an hour, anyone can go on stage and perform, karaoke and whatnot. Before you get too excited, all tables will be equipped with a buzzer with 2 buttons. The green one means "carry on" and the red one means "get off the stage NOW". So anyone can buzz and have a say in the entertainment. It also stays true to the vision of HOM, that is Hit or Miss.

Any takers?

Monday, November 21, 2005

The Hit or Miss Company

When I first started out this blog not too long back, I had hope it would become an oasis of ideas for the fertile mind. So far, it has become more of a comic relief to the daily chores that I'm encumbered with.

As some of you may know, I've morphed from a corporate animal to an entrepreneur and back to being corporatized. Well, I'm bored and hate my wings being clipped so I've decided to form a new company, The Hit or Miss Company,the antithesis of today's corporations.

The Hit or Miss Company (HOM)
HOM's charter is to look at investment avenues not confined to those of profit generating ones. The only rule is that it must " Bring pleasure to others so it becomes self pleasurable". Simple words but so darn difficult to execute.

Why publish the ideas? I dont really care because most of it would be silly and fact of the matter is ideas are a dime a dozen, its the execution and implementation that matters.

Anyway, I've several ideas in the pipeline and tomorrow I'll be presenting the HOM Gourmet Inexperience.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Sicko United

With money to launder and taxes to evade, I would love to own a football team playing 442. The way it should be played. My team:

Keeper. Martina Navratilova. She's good at keeping balls out and you can't bi her.

Right Back. Alex Yoong in a Minardi. He's always right back.

Centrehalves. Pamela Sue Anderson. You need a pair of these.

Left Back. Macauley Culkin of Home Alone.

Right Half. Tony Blair. He's a good ball carrier

Centre defensive half. Angelina Jolie. She's a good tackler and picks up scraps (read:Brad and her adopted kids)

Attacking half. Jude Law. Roving and loves to spread the play.

Left half. Anwar Ibrahim. He's good at working the channels and goes right up the alley.

Forward 1 . Paris Hiltion. Good headers.

Forward 2. Mozart. He scores for a living.

Manager. Jesus Christ. He works with 11 as one fell out.His team would also have the ability to rise from the dead.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


They say you could get blind doing so. They were right. It's blindingly pleasurable.

They say its an offence. If we dont do it regularly, the greater offence would be the corresponding increase in sexually fiendish crimes.

They say you lose many generations. We regenarate faster.

They say there's wear and tear. You do it often enough, you dont need circumcision.

They say married men shouldnt do it. Please do,its an acceptable form of cheating.

They say it stains the clothes. Dont wear white ones.

They say it will shrink. Of courselah, after you finish.

They say its embarrassing. Tell them not to watch.

They say its boring. Ask them to kiss their knuckles first. Its foreplay before masturbation.

They say its selfish. Ask them to lend a hand then.

Time to go blast my way to Venus!

Monday, November 14, 2005


Whisky purists need not read this. While I pride myself on being able to consume copious amounts of alcohol in a single sitting, age has taught me to discern the good ones from the bad.

There's this ongoing debate with regards to single malts and blends, scottish versus the rest of the world, Jim Murray vs Michael Jackson, Islay vs Speyside, etc. In fact, there's so much going on about whiskies these days, just about everyone has an opinion. My list of drinkables, irrrespective of style, are:

1. Ardbeg 10yo. For those long winter nights NOT alone.

2. Glenmorangie 25yo. With an old friend.Make sure its a dear one coz its bloody expensive!

3.Balvenie 21yo. For great conversations and time to kill. Had this with 2 other and didnt realize we finished the bottle until we had to switch to another whisky. The conversation died after.

4.Suntory 21yo. To 'de-mythify' that the best 'scotch' are from Scotland. Duh!

5.Jameson Irish Whisky Standard. Everyday, all the time.

6.Makers Mark (bourbon). Great with a slice of orange. Very stylish, chicks will notice.

7.Ballentines 17yo. First had it in the Royal Selangor Club with some geriatics. Simply delicious and agreeable with everyone.

8. Johnny Walker Blue Label. Brilliant for a Chinese style reunion with old friends,family and people you dont really know and like. You get absorb into the drink that you couldnt care less about the going ons.

9.Johnny Walker Black Label. This was my main staple for many years. Avoid it at bars as you're likely to get the adulterated/fake ones.

10.Glendronach 1968. Rare, found it, cherish it and will do it again for old times sake.

The noses,taste,finish and balance of the each of the above varies greatly from one to the other, you must think I'm a whisky harlot. Well,I've a need for a different companion for every occasion.

On Sports and Government

Woke up this morning with significant chunks of my memory taking an extended nap. Or maybe, I’m just clueless about the paradoxes enveloping sports and government. They say America is a beacon of freedom but yet they insist on parity in sports. Salary caps, first picks and spread of revenue all seem to be the antithesis of the freedom of corporation. On the other hand, in Europe, the birthplace of Marxism and Fascism, the exact opposite prevails. The business of sports, notably football, is cut throat with the weak fending for themselves and the strong helping themselves to choice pickings. Inevitably, the few that survive will also find the pot of gold shrinking.

The aura of an invincible team can only be created by the existence of weaker ones. Hence, the need for West Broms, Norwich and Palaces of this world. So sustain them, for they do serve a purpose.

On the balance, America has got it right. Sports is for the community and that community doesn’t exclude the weak and impoverished. Football in Europe needs to return to the communities and the current solution is on the verge of a meltdown financially and structurally, with the G14 looming as a dark and dangerous force to the little guys. LFC sits on the G14 (Chelsea doesn’t), but this does not guarantee their existence unless theycontinue to perform.

LFC is at a crossroad. They’re spending like a team who’s consistently in CL and yet, they’re not. Figures don’t lie and ultimately, it has to be balanced. Or perhaps, we should just curtail our ambition to ensure survival and accepts fate as a 2nd tier team scrapping for the occasional Euro excursion. Better still, if we can get Moores and Parry out and bring in new money. Unfortunately, unless you've got money to launder from dubious privatizations of Russian assets notably oil, this cycle of investment is unsustainable as football clubs generally do not generate the prerequisite sort of returns that excites serious money.

An old adage applies to football, "To make small fortune, you must start off with a big one". Is there a way out? Of course. When the bubble burst.

Sept 2005 Hong Kong

sic6sense: November 2005: "November "
Supposed business trip I made. Spend an a couple of hours working and 3 glorious night of debauchery. A lowdown on places of interest.

Stayed at http://www.jiahongkong.com/ , a Phillipe Stark Boutique Hotel. It was highly recommended by a friend and I must say it was a pleasant change from the usual hustle and bustle of a 5 star hotel. Good for privacy, honeymooners and philandereers. I wouldnt recommend it for 'real' business people though.

Dinner the first night was at M on the Fringe which basically set the standard for the rest of the days. Appetiser I had was white asparagus with truffle which was simply delightful and set the tone for the Moroccan lamb bathed in apple and raisin sauce. Dessert, I cant remember. My dinner companions were pleased with their choices as well. Of course, the usual boozing was sustained throughout the night, starting with a chablis and ending with shots of tequilas.

Some other places of note was http://www.aqua.com.hk/ for its drama, Felix at the Peninsula http://hongkong.peninsula.com/phk/restaurants_02.html for the place to pee. Lunch is excellent at the Kee Club (if you can get in *snort*), the roast goose is to die for.

Boozing was primarily at the Lan Kwai Foong and Hollywood Road area. Notable one was the Dragaon Club which is owned by Jacky Chan. Loads of hot looking babes. No chance you uglinesses.

Some travel advisory.........if you're planning a budget trip to HK , forget it. If you're already there and plan to budget, START CRYING!