They say you could get blind doing so. They were right. It's blindingly pleasurable.
They say its an offence. If we dont do it regularly, the greater offence would be the corresponding increase in sexually fiendish crimes.
They say you lose many generations. We regenarate faster.
They say there's wear and tear. You do it often enough, you dont need circumcision.
They say married men shouldnt do it. Please do,its an acceptable form of cheating.
They say it stains the clothes. Dont wear white ones.
They say it will shrink. Of courselah, after you finish.
They say its embarrassing. Tell them not to watch.
They say its boring. Ask them to kiss their knuckles first. Its foreplay before masturbation.
They say its selfish. Ask them to lend a hand then.
Time to go blast my way to Venus!