Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Answers to Your Prayers

Letter of the Week*

*Labia Oblongata said...

Dear Sicko,
I am worried about how my labia (majora) looks.I've watched (and compared) mine to countless pornstars' and several friends' (via both visual comparison and verbal description).Why doesn't mine wave hello?K.S Labia.
3:05 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear K.S. Labia
You’re indeed a Kia Su Labia. Please do away with this Singapore mentality of keeping up with the Lees.
What you have is not a major-a problem but a teeth-ing one. Get someone, preferably someone with a bite, to grab and pull it into the throat. Do it repeatedly until the swelling becomes desensitized. You will have a flapping insensitive unsanitary labia that’s porn ready.



luiza mendez said...

dear sicko,
where can i get vibrating, tingling condoms that could make me cum like a pig? if u don't already know, a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.thank u.
3:25 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear Luiza Mendez,
Why have one when you can have multiple orgasms?



Anonymous said...

dear sicko,
tell me how to bf n i have been trying,but it seems dat i just cant (squirt).pls help.siti nurhafiza
4:02 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear Siti Nurhafiza,
I assume you’re trying to get pregnant. Please get your boyfriend to squirt while you grimace with pleasure.



macam aku termakan cililah pulak said...

Dear Sicko,
I secretly covet my bestfriend's man. I have hot, passionate fantasies of him lapping me up like I am made of sugar. Each time we go out in a group I have to control myself because just the sight of him makes me want to undress. Please help me. I don't want to scare the other patrons in the establishments we frequent.
5:19 PM, February 27, 2007

Dear Macam Macam,
Unless you look like Jabba the Hut, the establishments would pay good money for your loss of control. You’ll also gain many new bestfriends.



dimwit football fan said...

Dear Sicko,

I love myself. But I'm not flexible enough to show myself how much I love myself.

How ah?

Not quite twisted enough,
Labia Lily

siti labiah binti muhamad konek said...

Abang sicko,

Kawan-kawan saya yang sama university dengan saya semua berkongkek siang dan malam. Tapi saya masih dara walaupun umur saya sudah menjangkau 19 tahun. Adakah labia saya tak chun?

sicko said...

Dear Labia Lily,

Be thankful. You may not love yourself anymore if you could.


sicko said...

Adik Siti Labiah,

Saya rasa labia adik kat university kurang friendly. Cubalah say "Hello" kepada jejaka2 sama kursus dan pensyarah2 yang sedia melaksanakan khidmat untuk negara.

Yang bertugas

Labia Oblongata said...

Wot does letter of the week win,eh?

adik comel yang tidak begitu bijak berkata-kata said...

abang sicko

buat masa ini, saya begitu kepingin menikmati sebatang lollipop. pada masa yang sama juga, saya ingin memiliki sebuah kereta mini cooper.

bolehkah abang sicko yang bijak pandai, lagi kekar dan perkasa, membantu saya?

Keropok said...

Dear Sicko,

My, err... friend says his kulit-empat (four-skin) is so long, each time his awek goes down on him, he entire head gets in. ANy advice for err... him?

Satisfied said...

At least I'm getting a few good rounds from all this arousal.
You're totally orgasmic.

Thanks Sicko!

madnoh said...

Dear Sicko,

I don't pretend to understand what your usual blog posts are all about but your sex-themed Agony Aunt posts were clear as day to me.

Should I be worried?

Jackass in JB

labia oblongata said...

i have renounced my singapore citizenship lah. i am no longer kiasu.

ps: labias that wave hello are insensitive?

sleepless in semenyih said...

dear sic6sensual,

u make me wanna.

pls help.

pugly said...

Dear Sicko;

How something so sick could be so sexy?

Please explain.

sicko said...

the letter of the week gets some labia lurving from the sicko.

let me get back to the rest of you when i'm not sober.

luiza mendez said...

how about the one who needs to have multiples?

*shoves JD down sicko's throat*

princesswaffzonkle said...

dear sicko,

i cant think of anything funny. is there something wrong with my labia?

sic6sense said...

madnoh, move to terengganu. jackasses there have dignified titles like mat skodeng.

labia, a sensitive labia would quiver when touch, not flap. haha

sleepless in semenyih, move to KL.

pugly, a sick labia is not sexy. However, sick can be sexy if it squirts in your face.

luiza, *gulps*. i'm a useless drunk. i cant sustain.

princess, try thinking with your head instead.