Monday, March 27, 2006

Rhythm Nation

Johnny Tan thought it was rather bright that privilege cards were handed out to the right crowd to garner loyal patronage and free spending in his club. Apart from waivering cover charges, these members had good discounts on food and beverage. The idea was that the right crowd would attract the wrong crowd who would pay the wrong prices to cover the discounted prices.

Suhaimi was one of the early members. Indeed, he felt privileged as he was lavished with attentive service and he knew he paid less than the others. Ganesh was of the others. A gangly lad with bad skin, he bided his time because he would soon be part of the faceless privileged.

Business was brisk and Johnny felt vindicated. A good majority of the patrons became members. But Suhaimi didnt feel special anymore and the staff's attention was diluted amongst the Toms, Janes and Marys. Johnny being a good man, extended additional privileges to Suhaimi in recognition of his standing. Of course, this cycle of discounting didnt stop there. Toms, Janes and Marys insisted on it because they felt they have contributed to the success of the club.

Ganesh became privileged but not a member. It didnt matter as he was rewarded with the fruits of discontentment of others. Johnny had to end the discriminatory pricing practices as he was losing money and it became operationally inefficient to have multiple systems.

Thats not the end of Johnny's tale. Like all great leaders, he had a Turnaround Plan, littered with KPIs (key performance indicators), no less. Lessons were learnt and 2 KPIs were set:

30% increase in revenue
Limit membership to 100 top spenders and reward them accordingly

The idea was to reward the selected members with points that could be exchanged for gifts as a result from their spending. Just like the credit card companies.

Suhaimi was member No. 8. He also got smarter after the first experiment. Ganesh became his quick buddy, and he extended his privileges to Ganesh provided he spends under his membership. Suhaimi gets his points, Ganesh gets his privilege pricing and unfortunately, Johnny gets a bigger debt. Screw the KPIs, the rakyat is happy.

Everything's dandy in Bolehland again.

12 comments:

Nict said...

Hahahahaha .. yeap screw the KPI ...

vic said...

Johnny should have gone for the sure sure-win strategy. Have a few gorgeous babes and some straight hunks as GROs/waiters, waitresses. And no taking them out of the place during working hours.

Can make more with pricey F&B right?

Its just a thought that crossed my screwed mind this slow thursday morning.

Nict said...

The main reason why Johnny came up with the "membership" scheme is becoz of the pricey F&B right? By doing that he can offer the goods at lower price for all the members. And by offering goodies at a discounted rate, how can he make more money?

Having gorgeous babes and hunks wont help much lah. Maybe during the first few weeks but after the hype is all gone, it wont make any difference anymore.

My 2 cents worth.

vic said...

This sort of business thrives when it evolves continuously. A stagnant joint ends up getting lesser regular patrons. Unless of course the joint caters for a niche market e.g. place for mat sallehs to pick up local women, or local guys to pick up pinays.

Naturally, there must be a high turnover of GROs to sustain the attention and spending. Oh yes, they must be sexily dressed, not too revealing. And hands off them, during working hours.

Nict said...

True enough. But by having high turnover for the GROs, that will only increase the overhead. At the same time if handsoff during working hour but with no guarantee on having the possibilities of having a taste of those "meats", that will only be able to sustain the crowd for a short period only what. After a while ppl will look for other place where they believe they have better chances of "scoring"

vic said...

haiya.... easy mah. hands off doesnt mean cannot flirt and ask for her/his number. And, naturally its hands off policy cos management doesnt want to get sued by employees for sexual harassment.

I can feel a comment coming soon, for us to take this discussion private ..LOL

Nict said...

Aiyah, any place you can flirt one. No need to change GROs every month oso can.

Hehehehe .. I think i got to agree with you. Am sure someone gonna ask us to take it offline.

sic6sense said...

*sigh*
*bangs head against wall*

The parody is lost.

babulicious said...

Everyone wants to get the better of the other or thinks he/she is. Somehow, it always works out that everyone at one point or the other gets hammered anyway.

Hmm....play God, Johnny!
C'est typique! Wants to be clever but has neither the hindsight nor the game plan. Dude, make sure if you want to screw them, screw them so damn good that they just keep coming back for more. Till they go blind!

That way the rakyat feels good and Johnny, jolly good!!!!

vic said...

After being screwed by the gomen, and reading all the crappy news and happenings of late, the mind just fails to read between the lines even though its parody.

Sorry ah. The postings were an attempt to engage Nict in tasteless meaningless banter i.e. tokkok. (and this sort of chased away the usual crowd?)

Nict said...

hehehehe .. sorry ahhh latok .. just wanna have fun with vic :D

sic6sense said...

vic, nict...its ok, talking about GROs is more fun than NEP,AP,KPI. Btw, GROs are not paid a salary.