Monday, February 27, 2006

Spot of Bother

More Oshoism. This is so disconcerting that we must find a solution...for mankind.

"In making love to a woman, a man is very inferior because he can only have one orgasm at a time while the woman can have at least half a dozen, a chain - multiple orgasm. Man feel utterly helpless. He cannot give those orgasms to the woman. And this has created one of the most miserable things in the world; because he cannot give a multiple orgasm, he has tried not to give her even the first orgasm."

"If the woman knows what orgasm is, she is bound to become aware that one orgasm is not satisfying."

"Man's sexuality is local, it is confined to the genitals and a sex centre in the brain. With the woman, its different; her sexuality is all over her body. Her whole body is sensitive, is erotic."

Great. Whilst waiting for some breakthrough mindblowing instant orgasm drug to become available, this might help the woman help the inferior man. Simply, X marked the spots.

Location is everything.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Dont fret, Najem!

Whatever happen to the billion ringgit donation?

I want to know if the thought is counted.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

The Book of Man

Trawling the bookstore the other day in search of love altering poetry, I was sidetracked. A divine intervention perhaps. Osho, shelved amongst the greatest philosophers, reached out to me like a blinding ray of light in the blindness of night.

Intrigued, random passages were reviewed.

On Adam
Adam was the first man, not because he was the first man but because he was the first to be thrown out of the Garden of Eden.

On the difference between normal sex and Tantric sex
Your sex act is to relieve. Energy is thrown out and you're unburdened. Its good and therapeutic and nothing more. Tantrc sex is not to relieve but to remain in the act without ejaculation. The difference is the type of orgasm ie peak of excitement and the valley orgasm (deep relaxation)

On American
Only in America is Dale Carnegie a philosopher. His book, "How to win friends and influence people" has sold second only to the Bible. And its full of crap!

On Homosexuality
Homosexuality is a necessary phase in the growth of man or woman.

On The Gambler
If you dont live life dangerously, you dont live.

Riveting stuff. I can hardly wait.

Monday, February 13, 2006

A VD Special (Love Story for the Delusional)

There was once a Virile Dude
with a Vending Desire
for a Voluptuous Doll;

Caught his eye on Victoria's Derriere.
Aided by a Vibrating Dildo,
he fulfilled her Vagina Depth;

She was well spread
with Venereal Disease
caused by his Venomous Dick;

A Virgin Deflowered,
VENUS DEMYSTIFIED.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Queer-ied

"Have you questioned your sexual orientation? Has your sexual orientation been questioned?Is your sexual orientation questionable?"

She said I looked gay. Unfortunately, she's not the first nor would she be the last. Engulfed with paranoia, a full checkup ensued.

History

I suspect Mr Freud was trying to justify his sexual orientation when he said all men are bisexual. Many have also argued that only women can be bisexual as their love can be manifested in ways other than of a sexual kind. I suppose what they actually mean is that men ultimately want sex.

Since I cant grasp the concept of love without sex, I must be either heterosexual or gay.

Mannerism

Gesture and speech should transcend sexuality. Bollocks. I can tell a queer guy from my straight eye.

I may occasionally swear like a whore but my gestures are not limp. The tone of my voice, even in anger and shock, barely rises above a baritone. In fact, my voice is so monotonous, I'm denied the mic at karaoke. Seeking solace with Johnny Walker or John Jameson on a regular basis doesnt constitute a sexual relationship.

Physical

Gay men generally keep well because they tend to be more promiscuous. Hence, the need to be physically sculptured. Lame.

Promiscuity is so rampant these days, even amongst heterosexuals and the physically 'challenged'. Admittedly, years back when I was physically in my prime (*sob*), I could pass off for a gay. I had the right accessories as well; Oliver People's black rim glasses made famous by John Le Carre in his novels and white pants.

Thankfully, my clothes didnt make me.

Mental

Crossed my mind for a second. I rather continence and abstinence.

Social

The company you keep reflects your orientation.

Most of my friends are straight. However, I'm bicurious. I love the company of gay men and women. I love it so much that I've tongued men both straight and otherwise, in my drunken stupor. My ex girlfriend loved me so much that when we broke up, she turned gay.(I prefer this version of the story). We remain goodfriends and I'm cordial to her girlfriend.

I also like going to gay bars. Inhibitions are left at the door and you cant help but be consumed by the veritable energy on show.

However, this feasting on gay men is superficial.

Pass?

Unquestionably, a heterosexual bicurious beast, I am. What paranoia??

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A Time Bomb

Since I'm in a horological and Kunderagical state of mind, there's a watch thats unique to an individual. Just like gestures that define us.

My collection of watches varies from the quirkiness of the 70s, the digitized 80s and the revival of the mechanized watches, thereafter. Purists aside, there's a greater story to a watch than time and engineering feats. It defines your personality. It reflects your mood. It determines your outlook.

Leave me a comment. I'll read your blog or decipher your comments and tell you the watch that is you.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth

“You never actually own a Patek Philippe. You merely look after it for the next generation”...(theme from Patek's ad)

The old man gave me a Patek at the reunion.

Lucky me?

I dont know.

I know I'm not getting anything else. *

Gift or mere consolation?

* Nothing else will be bequeathed to me. Zilch.