Louis Armstrong is Right

Just had grilled beef with kimchi at the neighbourhood Korean restaurant. While waiting for the food, I had a bottle of Heineken and some Japanese sake served by a delectable Filipino. She thought I might like to watch some old Wacko Jacko concert on the dvd. I didnt want to be rude, so I appeared Thriller.

While we go about our daily business, we get further entrenched into a cosmopolitan environment. Even the local monkey knows his kampachi from ikan terubuk.

Little amazes us these days. That is, until we meet a Chinese Mickey Mouse.

Its a sacrilege that individuality and intellectual properties can sometimes be forsaken for cultural and social integration.

* HK Disneyland is strange but I cant imagine Winter Wonderland in the tropics of Johor. Project still on ke? Or do we need to trade sand for snow now?

Fussy Logic

The greatest of philosophers and mathematicians have spent their lives dispelling certainties in lives; including long held views on logic and science. Classical logic generally deduces from a series of co-related events whereas, movements like Surrealism, by nature defies logic; it subscribes to nothing.

So are you one who says Fuck it! Shit Happens! Damn Luckylar!?

OR

One who doesn’t sleep at night?

A collector, through a middleperson, offered to buy one of my watches. The watch cost me a fortune a few years back. Its hardly worn, in mint condition and mostly forgotten. In addition, I've a dozen others which I regularly rotate. Although the offer was close to the purchase price, I couldnt part with the watch.

Nevermindlar!!

yet I cant sleep.

Saving Miss Universe

For reasons unknown to mankind, I was glued to the cattle show. I was hoping the finest cut of Kobe would Trump the Rump from Puerto Rico. I take Beef at the judges' choice.

The other funny thing I noticed is how the South Americans can ramble on continuously without taking a breather. I'm blown away at THE thought. No wonder they are always favoured.

I missed Miss Malaysia. I always do, at the blink of the eye.

The local organizer is a friend of mine. Needless to say, everytime we meet, I try to impose my views on how we can unearth and nurture new talents. In fact, I offered my services for free in exchange for a business card which states that I'm a talent scout. He has declined so far but with a long line of failure, he might just be desperate enough.

Really, I'm doing it to make the world a better place, to save humanity and to be a soldier of peace.

Confession

Before I get sued by some prospective advertiser, I'll admit that my invisible stat counter/site meter DOESNT exist.

Another confession. I had it for a few weeks months back but withdrew it because
1. It wasnt functioning well as it wasnt recording MANY hits.
2. I didnt need an effing software to tell me I'm my biggest fan.

Gimme me some lurveeeee!!

A Brain Tumor

Some fella, titled ex PM, has the affinity for building monuments. Monumental success or otherwise, its still open to debate. But whats unquestionable, is that you must have the ego the size of a rat strolling across a crowded mamak stall to do so. Granted, some say balls.

Since I've eaten more salt and drunk more whisky than most, believe me when I say, our face is bigger than our brain. You may laugh but some people just don't realize that.

A friend of mine made some money from flogging his miserable company to the public. He wasnt satisfied with his loot, so he proceeded to build the biggest house this side of Suez. A 40,000 square feet structure on a 20,000 square feet land for a family of four.

He hasnt seen them since.

A Pretend Post

Its hard pretending busy when you're actually busy. Everyone now thinks I'm REALLY pretending. That means I shouldnt REALLY be working. Hence, this post.

Point proven. Back to work*.

* I'm pretending pretend.

Dirty Martini

Golf is brutal enough playing under the sweltering heat and 3 abusive opponents. Its a frigging nightmare when your body is still purging from excessive alcohol bingeing the night before. I didnt risk any squatting posture, so how to read the putts?

Mr PM arrived back from Perth last night to a crowd of 2,000 of which half were kids and the other half were their mums and some lowly politicans. The bet is that when the ex PM arrives from Turkey shortly, there would be at least 10,000 people.

Read into it as you please but I see a lot of headless people running around looking for a clue.

I prefer mine stirred AND shaken. Served from afar.

I'm turning PRO!

I must be pregnant. I've just finished a jar of pickled salted fish. Well, it sure feels like it anyway.

Throughout my career, I've always disregarded authority and did as I saw fit. Funnily, all my bosses thought, since I was brighter than them, my future would be better served outside their organizations. Even when I was my own boss and counsel, I was sure I could run the country better than the Prime Minister. Like all underachievers, I flatter to deceive. I had neither the integrity, compassion nor the diligence.

But But, as in all mice and men, I'm never short of schemes. Analyzing my super invisible site meter, I'm clocking up an average of half a million hits a day. So, I'm turning PRO. Not professional, not prostitution but PROFITABLE. I've going to share my super hits with a specially selected advertiser of my choice since I can now demand.

My father taught me humility and magnanimity. I would like to share my killer letter to the advertisers with you.


Dear Sir/Madam

THIS IS NOT A SPAM. PLEASE GIVE IT A CHANCE! PLEASE! Please! please?

Since I've got your attention kind sir, please consider my win win proposition. I'm offering my blog's real estate exclusively for the purpose of developing your brand equity. My unique half a million hits a day includes key decision makers, namely mothers and wives. Really I kid you not, kind sir! If you cant fathom why a blog of this nature can garner the hits, just get your auditors to call me. I'll give them the exact number over the phone from my invisible stats counter. Yes sir! Hassle free and Honesty goes a long way in this business!

As you've have taken the trouble to read this far, a short CV is a good idea since I've NOTHING to hide.

Name : sic6sense
DOB : November 2005
Category : As you wish
Achievements : Apart from the millions of returning visitors, the blog has the ability to attract new market segments through crafty marketing. Its a trade secret, kind sir!
Ambition : To be of service to mankind, especially you kind sir!
Expected income : Its an exclusive deal and I've no intention to seek other advertisers, kind sir! (only USD 0.10 cents per hit and I'll 'special rebate' you. *wink*)

Please call me ANYTIME, kind sir! I'm only waiting for YOU.

Not a one hit wonder,

sic6sense


Select ALL. Send.

Eyes Wide Shut

A documentary has been released to cloud the evidence of September 11. If I say "conspiracy", you would say "theory". This predictable behavioral pattern is formed through years of cultural and political propaganda. Of course, being Supersic, I see things differently through my Xray vision contact lenses.

1.Marco Materazzi walked into the bald pate of Zidane. I can conclusively say that it was a chest thump and not a head butt.
2.My clone's (Superman) spandex busting crotch is the result of regular hernia operation. He's Harry Kewell in disguise.
3. Akadami Fantasia is not a talent show....... Ok that is OBVIOUS.

That was just some sampling of my ability to see beyond the fantasy. I really need to go take a pee at the ladies' now.

A Soft Sport

Something inexplicable happened during the course of the Wimbledon final. It was at the start of the 3rd set, when I wanted Nadal to compete and make Federer slog for his fourth consecutive title. By the end of the set, my loyalties firmly shifted towards a Nadal victory.

I love sports not for sporting reasons but for the nuances that turn a match into a compelling drama. It's beyond the shifts in momentum or the ability to conjure up a brilliant passing shot under pressure. The excitement lies in the demonstration of courage and fragility of the human psyche.

Notice during the coin toss, Nadal took his time and kept the umpire and Federer waiting?
Notice at the crossovers, Federer crossed ahead of Nadal at the start but by the end a pumped Nadal strode towards his chair like Federer was invisble?
Notice where Federer usually bounces the ball twice before a serve, he's now taking an additional bounce when serving out for the match?

Like everyone else, I love players and teams who play with flair and without fear. They are also easy on the eye unlike the dogged and determined ones who usually resort to winning ugly. Arguably, Nadal is the ugly dogged one but the intensity in his eyes conflicts with the softness of it. His demeanour off court is one of great humility and bashfulness. The boy is deep. There's more to him than meets the eye.

Only Zidane can save the World Cup. The competition needs a human story.

The Culture Boggles

Our values and culture have conveniently been made a scapegoat time and time again. What's so wrong when a disgrunted old man lashes out at the PM? Because our culture dictates we must not speak our minds when something's amiss?

Thats why I hate attending board meetings. Everyone's pussyfooting around and if they need to drive home a point, they take the scenic route. If we cant debate issues amongst ourselves, its unlikely that we'll thrive outside.

While hamstering on the treadmill, I took a curious glance at some programme called Akademi Fantasia (apparently its very popular :p). The Head of Costumes was defending the choices made for the participants. She also pointed out that none of the participants gave any feedback and accepted the views of the image consultant. That reminded me of some actress type I met a while back. She was going through an image transformation and was getting a new wardrobe and car to go with it. I always thought image was personality based.

On the positive note, I like this new development for the tourist industry. Our cities are dull. Many of you who have travelled and lived abroad would agree. I'm waiting for some sanctimonious nut to politicize this and deemed it culturally dangerous.

Maybe they are right, our culture is just too shallow, hence the reinforcements. And the self appointed enforcers.

Hope and Hopeless

She was so ravenous that she demanded a fist. Obediently, I knuckled down.

On a related note, I finally figured it all out. Life is not as straightforward as first thought; in fact, its in reverse. Consider for a moment that death is birth and vice versa.

If you check with your Gods , TV sermons and your parents, wisdom is directly correlated to age. Wisdom means clarity and clarity is the outcome of innocence. Based on my mathematical modelling using the Monte Carlo simulation, the wisest must be the most innocent who has the greatest clarity, and therefore, applying my Life Reversal Prophecy, we are dead at birth.

So you see, hope and hopeless are not always what they seemed.

*I know this post sucks but I need a closure on the previous series of hope and hopeless posts. So dont run away, normal headjob resumes.

Hope II

This is hopeful but I shouldnt have done it nonetheless.

I feel a need to write, so I wont say too much.